Wakey, wakey!
Good morning! Time to get up!
No, don't pull the covers up again. No. You have to get up. You're going to be late.
Brush your teeth. BRUSH your TEETH! I know it's exhausting. There is nothing on the planet more life-force sucking than brushing your teeth. Unfortunately the sugar bugs never get tired of eating them. So you must get rid of them. Now. NOW!
Get dressed, please. Are you dressed? You're not wearing that. No. No. No. It's 45 degrees. You're not wearing a tank top. You need long-sleeves. Or a sweater. Don't come downstairs til you change. Get back upstairs! Upstairs!
What's for breakfast? We have toast or waffles. Not eggs. Not pancakes. I don't have bacon. I'm not cooking. Okay, cereal. You can have cereal. You cannot have Daddy's cereal. That's junk food. And put that juice box away. You can have orange juice. In a glass. Nothing in a pouch. Put Daddy's coffee down!
Are those shorts you're wearing under your jeans? Take them off. Put the jeans back on. Not the shorts. The jeans!
What do you want for snack? Goldfish? I don't care if Kyle brings Ding Dongs every day. You can have a gogurt, crackers and grapes. No grapes? A banana, then. An apple. Pick one pick one pick one.
You have TEN minutes! TEN minutes!
Where's the baby? Has anyone seen the baby? Can someone find him? What? He's in the bathroom? XANDER! Ick! We don't eat toilet paper!
SEVEN MINUTES!
No, you can't watch TV. You have school. Do you have your folder? Is your homework in it? I don't know where your homework is. Where did you put it? Is it under the couch? Check under the couch. Use your light saber and sweep around under there.
FIVE MINUTES! FIVE MINUTES!
Put on your socks. Those don't match. Never mind. Put on your shoes. And your coat. I don't care if the sun just came out. You know what? I used to have to walk two miles to school in the snow. Uphill. Both ways. And did I complain about wearing a coat? NO! Because we couldn't AFFORD a coat. I had to carry the dog over my shoulders just to keep warm. And I was glad for it. So put your coat on. Where is it? It's hanging up in the closet. Where it belongs. Imagine that.
THREE MINUTES!
David! Are you taking Sawyer to school? What? You're on a call? But I'm in my pajamas! I don't have my contacts in! Okay! Fine!
ONE MINUTE!!
Okay. Let's go. Let's go let's go let's go. Wait. WAIT!
Where's the baby??
6 comments:
Lol! Sounds like a perfectly typical morning to me :)
This morning was even MORE special because it's raining. Always adds another dimension as we search for umbrellas, etc..
Love it! And yes, rain or heavy coats always add an extra special dimension, doesn't it? ;-)
That was hilarious. I can soooo relate to - wait, where is the baby??? UGH the bathroom!?! Damn she is probably either eating toilet paper or has her hands IN the toilet!
Oh one way to MAYBE get your kids to brush their teeth is to tell them no sweets if they don't brush. We only tell Jack once a morning and if he chooses not to brush that day he gets NOTHING sweet the rest of the day. This kills him! So he pretty much brushes everyday without much hassle. But if he does choose not to brush we don't make a big deal about it. Tomorrow is a new day. Sweets seem to be a good motivator. And I am not talking about candy or anything. You could even say that juice is a "sweet".
Good luck!
Wow... you have a webcam in my house?!?! Cool!! I have begun to wonder if I have to face that for 10 more years till my youngest finishes school...
Please tell me it isn't so..
M
I'd like to say it gets better, but...
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