Thursday, January 03, 2008

Holy Crap! And do I mean crap!

Okay, not "crap" as in "poop," unless a patch of dried smoothie on the floor qualifies.

David and I decided to rearrange our "living room" furniture tonight. This was not as crazy as a job as it might seem. Because our furniture consists of exactly one couch.

One. Couch.

When you walk into our house, there's one large room, with vaulted ceilings, that encompasses the dining area and the living area. We have a decent sized rectangular table with chairs for the dining area.

We used to have glass coffee tables in the living area, but we got rid of those child-maimers-waiting-to-happen and never replaced them. We also had a huge chair that we later sold at a garage sale. We moved the sleeper couch into what is now David's office.

And bought one couch. It's got a chaise attached to it. The idea was that one of us could lie one way, and the other could lie across the chaise part so we'd be comfortable watching TV. What can I say - I was pregnant at the time.

The reality is the dogs took over the chaise part, so they could have a clear view out of the window to protect us from all manner of cats, birds, neighborhood children and the occasional UPS truck.

I learned this evening that the chaise actually comes off from the sofa part. The problem is that this leaves the couch with only one arm. But we were willing to see what we could do to make two pieces work.

First issue was to move the couch. We have not moved this thing since we bought it almost five years ago. I know, ew, but I never claimed to be Molly Maid.

Imagine our surprise when David lifted it to find, underneath, an eye-popping assortment of books, matchbox cars, cheerios, play food (several french fries, a waffle, a bottom half of a hamburger bun, a mound of peas), doodads David collected for the kids at trade shows, a toy wrench, half a flashlight, the two missing wood alphabet blocks, the letter "X" from Sage's puzzle, automoblox tires, a AA battery, a box of Dots candy, a small Thomas train, a receipt from my half marathon almost a year ago, and the aforementioned dried puddle of smoothie. Strawberry, I believe.

Perhaps we need to move our couch more often?

We hadn't even moved the chaise part yet. That removal revealed a few random puzzle pieces, a matchbox car, two toy airplanes, a pack of Smarties, three missing plastic snack bowls, and more books. And more cheerios.

I felt like the Very Hungry Caterpillar. All I wanted now was a nice green leaf to make me feel much better.

And clearly I would not do well as the Princess and the Pea. I had no clue how much stuff was under there. It has certainly motivated us to, you know, clean under there a little more often.

We're not overly enthused with our new furniture arrangement. But Sawyer is thrilled with his "new" toys (and Smarties). I'm excited the floor is clean.

I sense a new couch in our not-so-distant future. Which will require us to once again move our current couch.

Don't even think about asking me to look under the cushions.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

Oh yes, under the couch, it's the black hole for toys and snacks. You remind me that I haven't seen under my couch for awhile.... I think I'm too scared to move it alone. :)

Cheryl said...

DON'T GO IN ALONE!!! Surprisingly, there were no goldfish crackers among the mess..

Jen C said...

Gah! That's awesome! Awesome in that it happened to someone else b/c I was afraid I was alone in the not so much Molly Maid department.

My problem lies in the cushions. My folks were over for the holidays and our wee little dog got all excited (as she does when we have visitors) and piddled on the couch. I took off the cushion to clean it and was grossed out by the amount of crap that lied beneath.

Needless to say, what is hidden under the couch itself is a mystery. That vortex I leave for hubby to clean.

Cheryl said...

Yeeeeah. The cushions. Hm. Maybe next year. ;)

Dawn said...

As an OCD germaphobe, this post disturbs me to my core. LOL

Cheryl said...

Dawn, you would not make it one nanosecond in my house. Although my kids are now into singing the "clean up" song from Barney and actually putting toys away!

Sarah (Ava) said...

My heart speeds up a little bit when I move the sofa or lift the cushions. Just never know what will be waiting for me. LOL.

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