Mom Bloggers: Nothing more, nothing less

I am a mom blogger.

I'm a mom. I blog about it. Occasionally I get free stuff, and I blog about that.

What I am not on these pages is a professional journalist. And guess what, fellow mom blogger? Neither are you.

A mom blogger, to me, is someone who writes about her life as a mother, as a woman. She touches on issues that impact her family or the world around her. The words can make us think, make us feel connected or understood - and can make us laugh so hard we snort our coffee out or nose.

Sometimes a mom blogger might review a product or offer a giveaway. She might get invited to an event or taping of a show or a launch. And she'll blog about that, too.

But what we're doing? It isn't journalism. It's journal-ING.

Just because you have Internet service and you blog doesn't make you a member of the media.

I should know. I became a professional journalist in 1990, when I graduated from college. Meaning, I got hired by an established news-gathering organization - a major newspaper. My job was to provide unbiased coverage of, in my case, various sports teams. And I continued to do so for different newspapers (and a magazine) for 15 years.

See, being a credentialed member of the media meant something: that I had education, experience, ethics. I was held to a certain standard. It was clear.

The arrogance of some mom bloggers fancying themselves media members is astounding to me. If you blog all about how you were at this primo event or you got that expensive (free) product to try, if you think YOU are the news, then you are missing the entire point of journalism.

As my friend Ciaran from Momfluential says, "Don't mistake online celebrity for being a journalist."

She's right. It's not the same thing at all.

Last week an appellate court judge in New Jersey ruled that a woman, who in a post on a message board ripped a software company and was being sued by the company for defamation, did not qualify to be covered by the state's shield law - and could be ordered to divulge her sources. (The shield law protects journalists from revealing confidential sources, so the judge was saying she's not a journalist.)

Yes, I realize she's not a mom blogger, but the judge's reasoning in the case resonates: "The defendant has produced no credentials or proof of affiliation with any recognized news entity, nor has she demonstrated adherence to any standard of professional responsibility regulating institutional journalism, such as editing, fact-checking or disclosure of conflicts of interest."

I believe this is exactly what separates the mom blogger and a journalist.

The typical mom blog has no editor. No one tells you what to write or how long it should be or by what time you need to post. You're not held accountable  for your content - especially when you can choose which comments to post.  

I'm not saying you would, of course, but you can act like a total ass at a major event and guess what? NO ONE CAN FIRE YOU! Sure, they can refuse to credential you again, and maybe they won't let ANY mom bloggers attend in the future, because there is a level of professionalism expected and you're nowhere close. But since you're really only there to meet some stars, you don't really care. I mean, you NEEDED that photo of yourself with George Clooney/Brad Pitt/Gerard Butler.

And, the minute you take that free blanket for your baby or video game for your tween or that fancy new laptop? Or those free passes to Disneyland -  in exchange for a vlog or a blog review or a whrrl?

Yeah. That violates one of the primary rules of journalism: we do not accept graft. Free stuff. Journalists do not operate on the barter system, there is no "I'll give it to you if you post about it" thing going on. A journalist might get paid by their publication to review a product or a book or CD, but the item itself is not payment. 

Sometimes I'd get a tee shirt or a computer bag with a logo from the person or event I covered. I'd turn it in to my boss. Or I'd just turn it down. 

A journalist can't be perceived to be someone who can be bought, or swayed by a shiny new purse. (I know bloggers are now required by the FTC to divulge whether you were provided a free sample by the company, and that's not a bad thing.)

I went through a lot to build a solid reputation as a sports journalist. Being a female had its challenges. I'm not just talking about dealing with a few idiot players in the clubhouse or locker room. There was the constant feeling of having to prove myself. It was important to me that co-workers, other guys on the beat and reporters I met when I traveled respected me and didn't think I was there as the "token woman" or just to look at naked athletes.

I paid my dues. I started covering high school sports, went on to do some college and minor league baseball, did backup work on major beats, and finally got my own Major League Baseball beat to cover.

I moved five times in seven years to places where I knew no one in order to further my career. I left behind friends, family and boyfriends. I once lived in a backwards town in Upstate New York, where I couldn't afford to turn on the heat very often (despite a record 130-inch snow fall) and subsisted at one point on hard pretzels.

I've had horrible bosses and fantastic ones who pushed me to ask better questions, to write words that moved people. I've met some of the brightest, funniest people on the planet and some of the sleaziest. 

I've covered wife beaters and drug users. I've written about a teenage basketball player whose baby died a few days after birth. A college athlete battling anorexia and bulimia. A larger-than-life baseball player hitting more home runs than anyone ever had.

I've waited - for hours - to get one quote from a player, only to have him totally blow me off. I've left dates and parties and quiet dinners at home because news was breaking and I had to work. I've taken calls on the treadmill. A former New York Yankees beat reporter once remarked to me during the playoffs, while watching the players' families in the clubhouse, "I see their kids more than I see my own."

I was away from home almost half of the year - as a newlywed. I've spent nights with my stomach in knots, wondering what the competition was going to have in their paper the next day that I wasn't.

Yes, I got all-expense paid trips to New York. Boston. Florida. Seattle. Toronto. Chicago. Sounds good, right? Not when you consider I was there to work - often leaving stadiums after 11 p.m  Many times I was gone for a week or more to three different cities through 10 airports and missed connections and delays and lost luggage and silly o'clock wake-up calls AND I was missing time I could be spending with my boyfriend/fiancee/husband.

I've been to a bunch of playoffs and World Series and even the SuperBowl once. But it's not the same as going as a fan. I had stories to write and deadlines to meet and competition to beat and news to break and editors to answer to. And David? He had to buy tickets if he wanted to sit in the stands.

By the time I left the business, I felt I had gained the respect of the people I covered and  also many other reporters around the country. I did my job professionally and I did it well. Players, the coaching staff and front office people knew if I interviewed them that what I wrote would be fair, whether or not they liked it. That's all you can ask for.

I had status. Trust. Credibility. Accountability.

I earned it.

Fifteen years. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of amazement. It's a way of life and it will always be part of me.

So yes, I think it's crazy that mom bloggers call themselves professional journalists or members of the media. 

This is not to say that what we do doesn't have value. It does, in myriad ways. And I'm truly grateful for the fabulous women I've met through blogging.

Mothers are a force to be reckoned with in this marketplace and companies know that. I think it's a great thing. Just don't mistake what's happening by calling yourself a journalist.

Now, if I'm doing a paid freelance piece for a publication, then yes, I'll wear my "media" hat. I've got the resume to back it up.

But in this space?

I'm a mom blogger. Nothing more, nothing less.

And so are you.