Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Big Date

I must have a really hot date this weekend. You remember, the kind where you have to spend the entire week obsessing about it. And, of course, getting ready for it.

Today I went to the dentist for my six-month cleaning. My teeth are like marble. Maybe tomorrow I'll whiten them so I can blind everyone within a 50 mile radius.

Tonight it's off to the waxatician. Or waxigician. That wonderful woman who removes the part of my eyebrows that are multiplying faster than the Pitt-Jolies and are so far up my forehead they're encroaching on my hairline.

Don't even get me started on the upper lip. When I can twirl my mustache, it's time for it to go.

And yet, every time I go, I wonder why I'm putting myself through it. Cause it hurts. Just like if you ripped your hair out. Which is what you're doing, with the added bonus of boiling wax poured on first.

But really, it doesn't get much better than a smooth lip and a perfectly arched brow. So to the torture chamber it is!

Thursday I have a hair appointment. I thought my hair looked okay. Possibly because it's hidden under a hat most of the time. Or up in a ponytail. But it can no longer conceal the grey pubic-like strands that are poking up their ugly little heads.

Touch-up color. Bang trim.

Thankfully, I already have my outfit picked out.

By Sunday, I'll be smiling brightly under a hairless lip, my eyebrows in perfect shape, not a strand of grey marring my hair.

Unfortunately, no hot man awaits me (unless, of course, my husband decides to show up). Just 26.2 miles of hell.

At least I'll look good for the photo-ops.


Suz Broughton said...

...Twirling your mustache! Yep, that would be a good indication it was time.

Cheryl said...

I know it! Don't have to beat ME over the head to know it's time to wax! lol

Jen C said...

...multiplying faster than the jolie-pitt kids. HA!!!

I don't do the upper lip thing b/c my skin's so sensitive that I break out when it's waxed. BUT the eyebrows? I guess I went a little long between waxes last time and the waxician, upon taking in what I assume she was thinking were furry muppets said, "oh yeah, you definitely need a LOT of work."

How had I allowed myself to turn into Burt from Sesame Street?

Just J said...

You are going to look smokin' hot on Sunday! Me, I'm a tweezer. I love my tweezermans, well worth the $20.

Simply Lovely Gifts said...

Hey! Just wanted to wish you the best of luck on Saturday. Can't wait to hear how it goes!!!

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