David and I dropped the kids of an mother-in-laws mid-morning and left to do all kinds of romantic things. First stop? Ikea. I mean, how can we exchange meaningful looks over storage bins with our children running all over the place?
So we're at a stoplight after exiting the highway, and David looks at the car next to us and says, "Are they smoking a BONG in there?"
I glance over, and to my amazement, I see the driver taking a hit off not a bong (although I was amazed my never-even-looked-at-a-joint-nevermind-smoked-one husband even came up with the word 'bong') but a pipe.
I was shocked. I mean, they were DRIVING! And they weren't, like, 16. They were probably 20.
I got VERY agitated, much to David's surprise. He thinks that because, back in the day, and I mean REALLY back in the day, I might have partaken of the sweet weed (not that I inhaled, mind you!) from time to time that I'd be totally chill about it.
But NO! They clearly saw us looking at them as they chased their hits with a swig of Starbucks. Apparently the sight of my eyes bulging out of my head didn't register. They didn't even break into uncontrollable giggles.
I made David go slow once the light changed so I could write down their license plate, and then insisted he call his friend who's a cop in the town. Of course, he didn't answer his phone.
Did I let this drop? Oh no no no, my friends. Once we got to Ikea a few moments later, I made him call another friend who's a reserve Orange County sheriff. I got on the phone and asked what we could've done.
He said we should've called 911, and then possibly followed the car for a bit to let the cops know where they were. AND that they had a fatality last week when some guy who was totally stoned crashed into a car with a family in it.
MY POINT EXACTLY!
I'm not sure when it happened. I was not a poster child for safe driving with some of the stupid shit I did as a teenager. I drank and drove. I smoked and drove (but only once, because I got lost in my own neighborhood and that scared the bejeebus out of me). I feel VERY lucky that nothing ever happened, that I didn't kill someone else or myself.
It must be the mom thing. All I could think of today was what if they hit a car with a child in it? I was really angry. Because what they were doing was astonishingly stupid. And selfish.
I'm sorry we didn't call 911 and get those suckers pulled over. Hopefully, they got to wherever they were going safely. The bad news is, they won't have learned their lesson.
For you occasional reassurance - [image: more peanut butter] He is very soon headed to the salon, and they really need to pay attention to his cuticles this time.
4 hours ago