Monday, February 04, 2008

Talk to me Goose

Sawyer loves planes. LOVES them. He spends hours playing with his toy planes, flying them around and making his airplane noises - which involves a lot of spraying spit.

He lands them on his aircraft carrier. He flies them in the car. He takes them to sleep at night.

He loves them so much, that when he was not yet even two, his father decided it was time for Sawyer to be indoctrinated into that sacred club. You know, the Members Only one that consists of those of you who can recite, word for word, every line of Top Gun (admit it, you're now humming, "You've Lost That Loving Feeling").

Nevermind that there are lots of swears in it. No f-bombs, but plenty of Jesus Christs, son of a bitches and shits.

Sawyer was a hyperverbal child. He spoke relatively early and often. So he had no trouble learning the lines to this movie. He especially enjoyed climbing into his car seat while exclaiming "G-d dammit!"

That was pretty much it for me. No more Top Gun for Sawyer. He soon forgot about The Airplane Movie (he only wanted to watch those scenes). For well over a year and a half, at least.

Then David decided the other day to show him a video of him riding his scooter when he was 2 1/2. It was achingly cute to see our little guy zipping around the lake so fast when he was so small. Except for one problem. The soundtrack David put to the video was Highway to the Danger Zone (or, as Sage now sings it, the Danger Goan).

Like waving a crackpipe in front of a recovering addict, Top Gun was back with a vengeance. Turn and burn. Take me to bed or lose me forever. I feel the need. The need, for speed, OW!

Sawyer knows all of these.

David tiVoed the movie when it was shown on AMC so Sawyer could watch the clean version. Yeah. He just went right on reciting the lines, filling in the shits as needed. And did you know it's okay to say bitch on TV? Altho he did assure me that it was okay to say "Some of a bench."

So then David edited the movie to have just Sawyer's favorite scenes. The swears are now all gone. Maybe eventually Sawyer will forget about his favorite expletives when he doesn't hear them four times a day (from the movie, that is. Mommy is a whole other story).

I'm thinking this is all going to work perfectly. Then earlier this evening, Sage was upstairs. She put her little face inbetween the rails and yelled "Mommy! Yook at me!" She proceeded to jump as she yelled "Dammit!"

Then she laughed.

"Sawyer said it, Mommy."


Dawn said...

LOL. My girls often talk like truck drivers thanks to my filthy mouth. My mom keeps telling me that my children better not be talking like the Sopranos when they start kindergarten. I'd better clean it up soon!

Melissa said...

That is way too funny! Greg has already dropped the f-bomb more than once and he hasn't even seen Top Gun yet. (I TRIED to show it to him a year ago, but DH put a fast halt to that!) I am still trying to picture that little cutie pie Sage saying dammit - it is just cracking me up! :)

Cheryl said...

Dawn- HA! The image of your girls as gangsters is pretty funny!

Melissa - Sage was SO proud of herself!

Just J said...

Hilarious post!

When my nephew picked up saying "f--- it" from the playground my sister would respond everytime with "Bucket? You lost your bucket?" until he was so confused he eventually started saying "bucket". :)

Jen C said...

Ellie says "damage" and then covers her mouth. Don't know where she heard it.

But d@mn it, did you ever bring back some memories of that movie for me!

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