Retail Therapy

If you love to shop and, like me, you have little kids, your body automatically veers into every childrens store you pass. You spend more time in Gymboree and Janie & Jack and Hanna Andersson than you do at, say, Banana Republic or the Gap (for grownups, that is).

Your daughter has a more varied and fashionable wardrobe than you do.

But once in awhile, like a dieter who's off sugar for too long, you have to splurge. You just do.

And so I did.

Now that Sawyer is really swimming, and Sage no longer has a fear of the water and wants to be in it constantly, I realized I needed a new bathing suit. I might have also realized this last year too, but luckily the summer went by fast enough for me to postpone my Least Favorite Shopping Ever.

Really, is there anything worse than bathing suit shopping? This is why the last nice bathing suit I bought was right before Sawyer turned a year old and we were going to Hawaii. I rewarded myself for finally losing all the baby weight.

If you're doing the math at home, that would be almost four years ago. Because we're not counting the skirtini I bought two years ago. It served it's purpose, but it's tired, the poor thing.

I now wear the skirt with the bikini top from Hawaii - or the one I got for my honeymoon, which was only almost seven years ago. I'm just not interested in wearing the string bikini bottoms at the moment. Too many things hanging out, especially when chasing little kids, and anyway, who has time for a bikini wax?

I should also mention the skirt is two sizes too big. So when it gets wet, it stre-e-e-e-e-tches. Not a good look.

There is nothing worse - and when I say nothing I mean it, readers - than trying on bathing suits. I do not need those flourescent lights to help point out every pocket of cheese that grows on my legs like their own country.

Luckily, the only injury I've incurred in a dressing room was to my pride. I've never had, say, an embellishment pop off and practically blind me, like that woman trying on a thong at Victoria Secret. Have you heard about this? A 52 year-old woman is suing VS because she claims she has permanent corneal damage after a sequin or something flew off the thong and hit her in the eye.

This leads me to two questions: 1) Who the hell tries on a thong? The ick factor is immeasurable and 2) How tight was she trying to stretch this thong so that the decoration was ejected with such force?

But hey. It could happen to anyone. So I decided the internet was clearly much safer. I get the Athleta catalogue and love the way the stuff looks. Then again, I'm looking at it on the most fit models ever. I would sell one of my children to have abs like these women. Okay, maybe not sell them, possibly just exchange them for merchandise.

I called them to ask about sizing, and spoke to a wonderful woman who totally guided me.

And this is what I got:




The woman assured me the top was beautiful in person and that it would look great with the shorts.

So, you know, while I was on the phone, and since she was being so helpful, I kinda accidentally bought two dresses. With the intent of returning one.




I'm running with the girls tomorrow morning, then will start with my new trainer Monday. So hopefully soon I'll be rockin' my new duds - just like those Athleta models.

Hey, a girl can dream!