The "ON MY LAST NERVE" button

I know I must have that button, because my kids have located it lately with no trouble whatsover.

A sampling of a recent conversation between them:

"Sage. Sage. Sage. Saaaage. SAAAGE!"

"Don't yook at me!"

"You don't look at ME!"

"You're yooking at me. DON'T YOOK AT ME!"

And so on. Just replace "look" for "follow me." The only thing we haven't heard yet is "stop touching me!"

This goes on at least 17 bazillion times a day. At home. In the car. With whoever is the instigator being completely relentless about looking - or yooking - at the other.

I can't just ignore it, because inevitably they come over to me to get away from the looker, and both end up leaning on me - until one starts shoving and then they start bitch-slapping each other.

Can't we all just get along?

Let's just say by 8 a.m. yesterday - they hadn't even been up for an entire hour yet - both were sent to their rooms.

I went to the bathroom. And locked the door.

That way, I was sure no one could yook at me.