Bra Less

I needed a new bra. I knew this because I finally came to the conclusion if your bra is creasing in the middle of the cup because there's not enough breast to fill it, that bra is probably too big.

And if you only own two wearable bras, and one has a permanent pucker and the other is falling off, perhaps it's time to get refitted.

The last time I shopped for a bra was almost two years ago. My sister and I went to Nordstroms and I got fitted. Imagine my surprise when I discovered I was wearing entirely the wrong size bra. My back size was smaller but my cup size was bigger.

For the first time, in non-pregnancy form, I was in a letter that is usually reserved for those of you who actually have breasts. How could this be? The saleswoman explained that when you have to go smaller in the back, you have to go up in the cupsize.

I then told anyone who would listen all my friends the size, just cause I could. And because I liked to watch their eyes drop as their mouth opened in disbelief.

Well, those days are over. I went back, this time with Sage in tow. My back is actually smaller, but they don't like to go that low on post-pubescent people. So that's still a 32. Unfortunately, the cup size is also smaller.

Sigh.

Sage was fascinated with the whole thing. I explained that I had to buy a bra, and that someday she would wear one too.

She had lots to consider.

"Mommy, I see your booboos!"

"Mommy, where's your gina?"

"Mommy, look at MY booboos!"

"Mommy, I have a gina and you have a gina and Daddy has a penis and Sawyer has a penis."

Thankfully, we were alone in the dressing room area.

The saleswoman brought in a handful of bras. I found a couple I liked. But you can't get a couple. Why? Because these suckers are expensive! I mean, I know I wear them every day, but $70? For underwear?

Of course I bought one, then raced home and found it for $20 less on eBay.

Wearing a smaller bra size really isn't like going down a jeans size. It kinda sucks. But I'll just repeat to myself, like Teri Hatcher's character on Seinfeld: They're real, and they're fabulous.

I guess it could be worse. I could have gone bikini shopping.