Thursday, March 04, 2010

I do NOT love you, you purple freak!

X is sick. He's got a nose that runs faster than Usain Bolt. He's got a phlegmy cough. And then he gags. He actually barfed on me yesterday. I guess that's an exaggeration. Because I stood up to help him and he threw up on his pants. We both stared at the pool of (thankfully) liquid. Then he went ahead and stuck his little hand in it.

So I had to pick him up and hustle him upstairs. Let's say he protested the clothing change. At high decibel. Good, healthy lungs on that one.

You might be surprised to learn that I've never been barfed on before. My husband has been the recipient. He's caught it in his cupped hands. He's worn it all over his shirt. He's really had no choice - his children's mother sprints from the room (see Bolt, Usain). David is the puke man. I'll handle snot, blood (makes him light-headed) or poop.

Anyway. Let's get to the point of this post, shall we? Before I go off on another tangent about some other bodily function. Like passing gas. Because I could TOTALLY talk about that for, like, hours!

David was gone for the day so I couldn't take Sage to dance this morning, as Xander was too sick to come along. Sage wanted me to play Zhu Zhus with her (don't judge, people! The kids have a LOT of fun with those toys, and they don't hurt as bad when you step on them as an opened Bakugan does). But X decided he was not going to nap. Oh no. Despite waking a few times during the night and getting up for good at 6 a.m., he was not having it.

I had to entertain him, which meant I couldn't really play with Sage. I decided to turn on some music and found some station on the TV that plays Toddler Tunes. Whatever that means.

And here comes the big admission: I LOVED it. Sage was lukewarm to it. X was excited because the background showed different graphics, including two of his absolute faves: balloons and a rubber duckie.

But me? I was up and dancing! And, unfortunately for my kids, singing! Oh yes. How could I not? I'm sure I'm dating myself here (which, incidentally, was my pretty much my social life for part of my 20s), but I heard "On Top of Spaghetti," "I'm Being Eaten by a Boa Constrictor," "Whole Word in his Hands," "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and even a couple Beatles songs.

That is exactly why the station is STILL ON five hours later.

I still love it, but with every love comes a test, right? I mean, you love your spouse, but there are some things (wearing socks with holes in them, snoring, etc.) that you have to overlook because the good SO outweighs the not-so-great stuff.

There are deal breakers, though. We're talking bad teeth. Chewing with an open mouth. Oh - and of course, being racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic or voting for George W. Bush.

The station played on. All was awesome. Until I heard that voice. You know the one. Sounds like someone inhaled helium while suffering from a massive sinus issue. One other hint? The singer is a large purple dinosaur.

I almost shut it off. Almost. Instead, I excused myself to the bathroom. Thankfully, when I returned, it was over.

I'm giving it another chance. Ah, the early stages of love! Makes you overlook a whole lot, doesn't it?

But it's been warned. I can only tolerate so much.


Andrea said...

Not Barney! I'm sure they use him to torture people!

Lady V said...

It seems like every kid on earth has a runny nose and farting...that my dear is a daily ritual in our house. We used to watch barney....whatever happened to him.

Lady Jane said...

Ugh Anything but that big purple monster. Hope your little one feels better soon.

Salsa Mom said...

Love it! totally been there! thanks for stopping by my blog and your very kind words. I will be back! Love your blog title!!!

Jen C said...

HA! I used to work with a kid who loved Barney. I mean L.O.V.E.D. Barney. So before I even had children of my own, I had to sing "I Love You, You Love Me" over and over and over and over and over again.

I am haunted by Barney.

Dawn said...

I was SO glad Barney was out before my boys were born! THAT would have been a deal breaker for me!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and sharing some love!

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