Four Months

He smiles, he laughs, he rolls over, he reaches out to grab things.

He cries, he refuses to nap, he wakes up every two hours during the night.

Happy four months, Mr. Man!

I'd like to say Xander has suddenly turned into an easy baby, but then you'd yell "LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!" Consider this typical scene (now, one might argue he was chafed because he had to wear a pink bib):



But there are also times that he is so freakin' cute I forget what a jerk he was just a moment before. I get that he's been teething, that his fists are always covered in drool from constantly being jammed into his mouth. I can see a tooth and wish it would pop through and give him some relief. Guess he's entitled to be a bit pissy.

He actually is sleeping better, usually wakes up sometime between 3 and 4 a.m., then goes back to sleep for an hour, nurses again, then sleeps for maybe two more hours. Not bad. I guess. I'd heard tell about bad sleepers, I'd just never had one. Until now.

He's a strong little monkey. He can already scootch and actually dug his feet in and propelled himself forward today. Guess he knows he's got some siblings to catch up to. I'm a little scared I might have my first climber.



I'm stoked to say we are still nursing. We had one episode last week with a bloody poop, because I selfishly added one slice of bread (wheat) a day and some turkey bacon which lists soy lecithin as the last ingredient under the "contains 2 percent or less" portion. Something bugged him, and since I cut both those out, he seems pretty good.

I find out Tuesday at his checkup how much he's grown. I admit to being a little proud that I've kept with this diet despite at times being incredibly hungry, incredibly bored of turkey turkey and more turkey, and annoyed that I'm not getting a side benefit of losing any weight. Where's the justice?

But when I nurse him, I finally get it. I understand why so many women do it longer than I think I would (or could, because it's a big hell to the no for extended nursing - this diet would KILL me!).

This is the longest I've ever exclusively breastfed. So even though this is my third, I'm still figuring it all out, and it's funny how as he gets older, it gets more interactive; Like how he'll stiff-arm me when he's feeding on my right side, but on the left, his hand will either knead my skin or clutch my shirt.

Sometimes he will gaze up at me with his big, brown M&M eyes. I will look at him and smile - and then his whole face lights up. He unlatches, smiles a huge dimply smile, then turns his head and latches right back on. He'll do that a few times in a row, playing a little game.

It melts me, how I can give such a small person such huge joy.

These are moments that I hope I will always remember, especially when he's 17 and has three earrings and stays holed up in his room listening to heavy metal.