Is that a giant RAT?

It was all going so well. Too well.

We went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese this morning. Sawyer was very excited about it because Daddy was coming - which meant he was going to get to play all the race car games that Mommy doesn't understand.

This was Sage's first time as a mobile child (she spent some time as an infant snoozing in her car seat while I chased Sawyer around), though I have been thinking of taking her. It's a relatively cheap way to kill an hour or two, and kids love it.

Or so I thought.

And yes, I realize that I might as well just skip the entire place and instead have my kids go ahead and get barfed on directly, but hey, at least they have fun before they get contaminated by every germ in the known universe. UpChuck. E. Cheese is more like it.

Anyway, armed with a gallon jug of hand sanitizer in lieu of a hazmat suit, off we went.

Sawyer raced off immediately with his friend J. Sage was very interested in all the rides. First she got on the three horse merry-go-round. Then she bounced on a trolley car and a Bob the Builder tractor. She was all set to get on a train, until she noticed a large purple dinosaur sitting in the passenger seat.

No thank you, Barney. She got down and slowly backed away.

She was having a great time putting the "money" in the slots. Everything was going great.

Until that creepy, oversized rat decided he had to walk around and wave at my kids.

Sage was terrified. She jumped off a moving Teletubbies saucer and leapt into my arms, burying her face in my shoulder. Luckily, Chuck E. Cheese went on his way. Sage and I moved over to the table where pizza was beginning to be served.

Then the curtains parted. And Giant Rat #2 came out and started singing. This is a motorized freak show. Horribly scary.

The curtains closed, and Sage was relieved. She was all set to eat her pizza. Then they opened again.

She was done.

The poor thing was so out of her mind that she was actually shaking, certain that this creature would hop off the stage and start chewing off her right leg with its sharp rodent teeth.

I'm guessing Disneyland, then, is not in our near future plans.

David had to remove her from the place. They went to Target. She got a Hello Kitty bag. All was right with the world.

Sawyer slowly got over his fear of the robot one. But he was still afraid of the whole "guy wearing a mouse costume" thing. Which he explained thusly:

"I didn't like him because I didn't KNOW him, Mommy."

Words to live by.