A rolling poop gathers pine needles, and other tales from the run

Three hours is a long time to run. I know this because that is how long it took me to run 16 miles Saturday (yes, you math whizzes, 16 miles in 3 hours = S-L-O-W but I'd like to see YOU smart asses get out there and do it!). I regularly run with two women who are my age during our Saturday runs with Team in Training, which, as you know, I'm raising money with for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. We were also joined by another woman who we'd not met before who is the tender age of 25. No matter. She enjoyed our geriatic pace and was quite entertained.

I run with my iPod, but I have it low enough so I can carry on a conversation and most importantly, so I can hear the demonic bicyclists who race up behind us and shout at us for not being far enough over on the side.

In case I haven't mentioned, three hours is a long time. But I have to say it goes by a lot quicker when you have some interesting conversations. And since most of you were either still sleeping or at home relaxing by the pool, I thought I would bring you some of the gems that were discussed,most of which have to do with the workings of the digestive system.

1) When said demonic biker zipper by and yelled something nasty at us, one of our party shouted back "We hope you don't get leukemia!"

2)Body Glide, Body Glide, Body Glide. Slather yourself with it or else you'll end up like K, who not only had to endure inner thigh chafe (yeeeeOWCH!) but also found, upon taking off her shoe and sock at the finish, that the back of her heel bled right through her sock and onto her shoe.

3) Gu gives you gas. I don't do Gu, I do shot blocks, so I don't have this problem. Apparently when two of the women were out for a run during the week one of them, er, "released" her discomfort. The other one jumped - she thought it was a dog barking.

4) If one has to poop during a run and it's an emergency, said runner usually makes like Carl Lewis and sprints to the nearest bathroom. It's known as a desperation dash. If one has to poop but it's not an emergency, just kinda bothersome, it's advisable not to clench one's butt too tightly to keep the poop in. This, in one woman's experience, can lead to the incredibly undesireable condition called Butt Chafing.

5) And my personal favorite story: T runs with a woman who regulary poops during runs, usually behind a bush (I didn't ask about TP). One recent day, she went up a small incline to the bushes to do her bidness. One poop landed in pine needles and started rolling. It gained momentum, rolled right down the hill and landed - plop! - right on the sidewalk at the feet of her running partner like a perfectly wrapped gift.

That No. 5 kept me giggling for a few miles. It's not the hill I handled or my bruised toe or the calf cramps I finished with that I'll take with me from Saturday's run. It's the sharing of conversations you might only have (or not!) with your best friends, the feeling of being in this together, that will keep me going for many, many more miles.