Green Cheese

Sawyer was riding in his car seat one night a couple weeks ago, and was looking at the full moon.

"Mommy, the moon doesn't feel well!"

"Really? Why not?"

"Because he has a rash on his face. Poor moon."

Potty Training, Day 3

NO ACCIDENTS!!! No poop, either, but he woke up dry this morning and dry from his nap, and went pee in the potty every couple hours with no problems. We're so proud!

In other news, Sage has her first ear infection. I noticed her left ear was full of crusty yellow stuff (tasty, I know), so she went to the doctor. Poor little one!

Potty Training, Day 2

Two big accidents today, both this morning, and both after I asked him if he had to go, he said no, and then he ran away - and peed on the floor. But we did have more successes, the biggest one this evening when David took him to Circuit City and Sawyer stayed dry the whole time, including when he came home for a snack and an episode or two of Charlie and Lola.

The whole thing has been freakin' exhausting. But hopefully he'll catch on soon. Either that, or his wife can train him...

Some pics

I haven't posted in awhile. I know this. I have no excuse, really. We went away, then my Dad was very ill (thankfully he's rallying), and then the holidays...yada yada yada. Anyway, since I'm back, I'm going to post a couple pics. Woohoo!! We have a shot of Xmas eve (the first decent family shot we've taken awhile), then a few of the kids and one of me with my baby girl.

Potty Training, Day 1

Sawyer woke up this morning and decided he wanted to wear his big boy underwear. The following are emails I sent this morning to my friend L, who potty trained her son this summer.

9:14 a.m. Pee on the floor. Didn't even mention it to me - luckily I saw the puddle!

9:44 a.m. Pee So I asked, Sawyer, do you need to go potty? and he says no, and pees in his underwear 2 seconds later...

10:05 a.m. I had him sit on the potty (20 min. after the accident) and he pulled down his underwear himself, sat down and peed! Woohoo!

10:08 a.m. okay. like 3 minutes after he peed in the potty, he peed on his wiggly car. WTF?

10:25 a.m. He peed AGAIN, and it was enough to get his shirt all wet too (he was sitting on his tricycle). Does this seem like an inordinate amount of pee?

10:53 a.m. More pee! He didn't want to sit on the potty, but we bribed him with kissables and he did more pee. Yegads. This does not seem normal!

11:10 a.m. He peed in his underwear AGAIN! This child has had ONE cup of OJ today and nothing else to drink!

Thankfully, he wore a diaper for his nap. He had only one big pee accident after his nap - he was playing on my computer, and I asked him every 5 seconds if he had to pee. He kept saying no. Then when he was done, I sent him to the potty with Daddy who said his underwear was wet. That's when I noticed the puddle beneath the chair he was sitting on... He was then was dry through dinner and beyond, going to the potty at our urging at least three times. He did at one point cry that he wanted his diaper. I think the poor little guy wants to poop, but he didn't.

I was never more happy to see this kid go to bed!

Let the taunting begin

Sage's new favorite thing to do is to grab whatever toy Sawyer might have put down for a nanosecond, or maybe snatch one of the 47,000 planes he's playing with on the floor, and make a run for it. She usually beelines to wherever I am sitting with Sawyer in hot pursuit. He then either cries or tries to wrestle the toy away from her, which results in her crying. I try to explain to Sawyer that she only wants it for a minute, and then she'll move on to something else. Or I encourage him to find another toy for her to play with. He is trying, but he's only not quite 3. Needless to say, I feel like a referee most of the day.

In other developments, Sage was sitting in her high chair yesterday eating lunch. I looked over and she started flapping her hands at me. It took me a few seconds to realize she was doing the sign for "all done" which I had tried to teach her. I wasn't all that consistent with it, but she picked it up. I asked her if she was all done and she smiled. She also did it at dinner that night. I'm so proud! She definitely is not as verbal as Sawyer was at this age, so maybe she'll use the sign language. Sawyer had no interest.

A budding liberal (we hope)

Yesterday I had to wait for Sage to get up from her nap before I took the kids with me to go vote at the elementary school across the street. I finally had to wake her up at 5 p.m. after a solid - and unexpected! - four-hour nap. Of course, Sawyer slept just 45 minutes. Anyway, I stuck both kids in the BOB and we started on our way.

Sawyer: "Where are we going Mommy?"
Me: "We're going to vote."
Sawyer: We're going on a boat?"

Later, at the polling place

Sawyer: "I'm having so much fun voting!"

Maybe it was because he knew that my vote was a small light in the ultra-conservative darkness that is Orange County. I'm surprised to voting machine didn't pass out when I inputed all the democrats.

In other "news"...

Sage is starting to nod her head "yes" if you ask her something that she wants. It is so cute! I left her and Sawyer in their bathroom for about a minute to go get dressed in my room. I heard her complaining a bit, so thinking that Sawyer was probably beating her over the head with the bubble bath bottle, I hurried in - to find Sage sitting in the bathtub. She'd climbed in. This was only moments after she successfully climbed into Sawyer's bed for the first time.

Sawyer had his 3-year checkup. He's 32 pounds, 37 1/2 inches..

No pain, no..sitting on my butt!

So I decided to test my leg today, and went to running camp. I am happy to report that it held up just fine! Now, granted, we just did drills today, AND I ran with the beginners (some of whom cannot run a mile without stopping) AND we were doing a 14-minute mile pace, but still. I did it without pain! I can't go Wednesday so I will test it out again Friday. WOOHOO!!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers..

...And badminton playing kangaroos!

Halloween was a success, after a few threats. Sawyer decided he didn't want to put on his costume or go trick-or-treating. So I told him that Mommy, Daddy and Baby Sage were all going, and he could stay home. He got into that costume about 2 seconds later. And he had a blast! There is nothing like watching your child really enjoy himself. He was running from house to house. Ringing doorbells. Saying trick-or-treat and then taking a candy. He even said thank you several times without my having to remind him. The best part is he doesn't even really know what candy is, so he didn't care about eating it. He was only excited about a little bag of Halloween pretzels. Sage, on the other hand, loved carrying her bucket - until she got a piece of candy in it. Then she stuck her little hand in, grabbed the candy, and threw her bucket. She was ALL about the chocolate - like Mommy like daughter! She didn't eat any though, just clutched a milky way for about an hour..

Daylight Savings Time(bomb)

I'm wondering if DST was invented just to mess with parents of young children. Exhausted moms who have spent weeks or months getting their children to finally, finally submit to a nap, bedtime and wakeup schedule to where you actually begin to feel like something resembling human.

So just when everything is going along just fine, when your children are sleeping like the obedient, perfect little monkies they are, you have to turn your clocks back. (pause for sounds of toddler and preschooler shrieking for attention and wanting to watch Curious George at 6:03 a.m.)

I mean, really, what kind of sick mind thought this up?

Strike a pose..

Ramblings..

Sage is getting pretty hilarious. Sawyer got a new big rig matchbox car, and Sage is obsessed with it. Probably because she senses that it's her brother's favorite toy. Her new thing is to snatch it the second he turns his head, race across the room shrieking, then wave it around. Sawyer is not amused. But I think, "This is just the beginning."

My Dad was having dialysis at the hospital before he was supposed to have surgery to remove a pin that had loosened in his hip. While he was undergoing the dialysis, he suffered a mild heart attack. He had two stints put in and is doing better, apparently, because when I tried to phone him just now, he'd been discharged.

We finally got Sawyer on antibiotics. He's been sick since August. I don't ever remember the last time he slept through the night without waking up coughing. We've had him on tons of meds, none of which seemed to help. He was burning up with fever Monday night so I took him to the pediatrician Tuesday, who gave him amoxicillin. Fingers crossed that it finally works.

Today we were driving home from the park. Sawyer said "Mommy, why is your hair backwards?" It was up in a ponytail.

My leg seems to be getting better. I've been popping motrin like candy corns and I'm trying to ice it at least twice a day. So hopefully it might just be another week. I don't want to get fat before the reunion!

SHHHH - THEY'RE SLEEPING!!!!!!!!!

That's what two older women snapped at me this morning. I was, apparently, cheering too loudly. Granted, it was about 5:45 a.m. Still. There wasn't much else for me to do.

Today was the final day of the eight-week running camp. That meant the dreaded timed mile. It was a day I had actually looked forward to. It would be a tangible result of eight weeks of waking up even before the butt-crack of dawn, of running when it felt like my insides were twisting out, of being so exhausted by the end of the day I couldn't function. I had been having anxiety dreams for the past couple weeks. How fast would I go? Would I have horrible stitches and fall across the finish line? Or would I kick butt? I wanted to know.

And then I pulled my quad Wednesday. And it hurt even worse during warmups today. I was out. So there I was, stationed about 200 meters from the finish line, shouting out times and yelling encouragement - much to the disgust of the two women walking around. They pointed to the darkened condos behind the course (it's a paved loop around a lake). I didn't bother mentioning that they also backed up to a major street. I really didn't care. If shouting the times and clapping and yelling for them to GO GO GO!! made them even a few second faster, it was worth it.

The runners were happy I was there. The fastest one finished in 6:50, knocking 14 seconds off her personal best. It was awesome. I was disappointed I wasn't running too. The coach wants me to take at least a week off. The next camp starts Oct. 30. I might not be ready to go by then. But this is out of my control. I just have to hope I'm a fast healer!

I guess now this means I actually have to watch what I eat, since I won't be doing five-mile runs for awhile...

Walk of Shame

No, not THAT walk of shame! Thankfully those particular days are way behind me.. But I digress. Today was the last running class before our timed mile Friday, about which I'm having anxiety dreams where I'm running in the wrong direction, or I've forgotten something, or the coach is picking on me. Anyway. Everything was going fine, when all of a sudden my left quad muscle clenched like an angry fist. YEEEEOUCH!!! I tried to keep running, but that is not possible when it feels like someone has tomahawked a hatchet into your leg. I stretched it out, tried to jog a bit, then had to walk. And we were two miles out. I ended up walking all the way back with the slowest runner in our group. She talked NONSTOP, which wouldn't be so bad, as she's a very nice person, but she hadn't apparently mastered the Talk-AND-walk equation, because even with a damaged thigh, she had to jog to keep up with my walk. And I wasn't in a particularly chatty mood, considering the timed mile is Friday and I -literally - worked my butt off for the past eight weeks. I iced it when I got home, then took a hot shower. It only tweaks occasionally, after I've sat for awhile or I try to pick up my 24-pound toddler. So please send positive thoughts that this was just a random cramp, not a tear, and I'll be fine to fly around that lake Friday.

Too tired to write..

So I'll just post some more pumpkin patch pictures - as that's all we have uploaded!

Gone far too young..

Cory Lidle died today, at age 34, after the small airplane he was flying crashed into an apartment building in New York City. He left his wife of 10 years, Melanie, and a six year-old son, Christopher.

I did not know Cory. I of course knew who he was, and my good friend covered the A's when he was there. He played on those great high school teams in West Covina with the Giambis and my pal Shawn Wooten. He also had a twin brother, Kevin.

There are plenty of people who die too young every day. For some reason, when it's an athlete, it's almost more unbelievable. Perhaps it's because they are perpetual children, playing a child's game in a man's body. And then they're gone, and what they leave behind is in fact very grown-up; a wife, children who depend on them, brothers, sisters, parents.

I did not know Cory, but I know so many like him. Young men. Immortal. Until they're not.

Run Mommy Run

Two weeks left - actually, 11 days - til the timed mile. Will I do an 8-minute mile? Isn't that the name of Eminem's movie? Today I kicked butt. Seriously. Never mind that a few women who are faster than me did not show up today, including the fastest woman in the group. I was running right up there in the top 3 or 4, and we did a tough hill run, going almost 5 miles. It is amazing how well I do when I don't have stitches that feel like someone is pulling out my insides with a melon ball scooper. Wednesday we're doing the toughest run of the camp. We did it a couple weeks ago and I thought that it was just a one-time thing, but no. That time, one woman's husband actually set up a table with water for us to grab - this was at 6 in the morning! I know my husband was snug in bed, snoring away, at that hour. Because he's smart.

A date!

Today David and I had our first extended outing sans children since Sage was born almost 13 months ago. We grabbed a quick bagel, then went to the spa, where we wiped the dust off the gift cards his mother had given us LAST Christmas. David was a massage virgin. I had a male masseuse for the first time. It wasn't exactly relaxing, as I got a deep tissue massage. But I felt awesome after. David also enjoyed his experience. Yippee! That means more massages for us! Then we drove down to Laguna Beach for lunch. We actually walked along and held hands - each other's hand, not the hand of an almost three-year-old while balancing a solid one year-old on the hip. And when we got home, BOTH kids were napping! The few hours spent away were a much-needed recharge for us. Can't wait to do it again!

Some Sagie pics..

The last picture especially cracks me up. She loves walking around holding my running shoes. Pretty appropriate, too, considering how much I chase her. Sometimes she pretends they are a phone.

Feast or Famine

So now about oh, every five minutes or so, Sawyer asks if it's time to go to preschool. He only goes Tuesdays and Thursdays. The four-day weekend is then a real killer for him. The conversations go a little something like this:

Mommy, is it time for preschool?

No. Not today.

After my nap?

No. Today is Monday (or Wednesday or Saturday, etc). You go on Tuesday and Thursday.

After it's dark is it time to go?

No. Not today.

oooOOOOOH!

And so on. This is from the same child who would scream and clutch us when we tried to drop him off. Who would start crying at home before we left - only a week ago! Now, he LOVES it. Which is, of course, a good thing. It's going to be a loong weekend.

I'm a cliche

I love my kids. I really, really, really do (that's three reallys, for those of you counting at home).

But.

Right now I am wearing a pair of Gap capri jeans that I bought at least five years ago. They are saggy. And baggy. Not attractive. My shirt, which I bought right before going back to work after having Sawyer, has partially digested cheddar goldfish crackers caked on the shoulder. It, too, is hanging off me. My hair is clean. But it is a mass of frizzy curls. My expensive flat iron sits ice-cold in my drawer. The entrancing clear plastic clip that I was wearing earlier now lies abandoned somewhere in my bed, the victim of a solid yanking by Sage. The lines around my eyes contain not a trace of leftover eye shadow. My pores are clogged. Not that anyone would particularly notice: my days revolve around soothing and wiping and refereeing and keeping Sawyer from eating the dogs' food.

I'm a mom.

I'm so over it. Not the actually mothering part. My children make my heart sing and dance and leap to the beat of their smiles, cries, belly laughs. They are mine forever. They are light and hope and dreams and everything that help me to be a better, stronger, more optimistic human being.

It's the cliche thing that has me down. Where did I go? The essential ME. The woman. The person who breathes apart from my kids and my husband. I miss me sometimes. And, of course, there's the problem that I can never be the woman I was Before Children. You can't be who you were before life slapped you a good one. You can only be who you are now, based on all the experiences that have shaped you. It's not that I was so wonderful before, but I was, at my core, me.

Those who I've told about my running camp think I'm a tad nuts for voluntarily waking up at 5 a.m. at least three days a week to literally run my ass off. I actually even pay to do it. But I think it's a step (pun?) toward rediscovering myself, finding out who I've become. I run with adults (woohoo!) who speak in adult sentences about adult things. The workouts are tough and often painful. When I get back into my car, I feel exhausted, but also very much alive. My body is coming back. Fitting into my clothes, the ones from even before Baby #1, does give me a much-needed boost to say nothing of helping me feel a bit more, well, normal.

The best part is when I carefully open the front door of our house, muffling the sound of the bells that hang from it. I'm quiet, determining if the sound of Curious George's latest adventure is blaring from our bedroom's TV, signalling that Sawyer is awake.

Some days, like today, it's silent. I'm home.

My little pumpkin!

Sawyer and I went to Tanaka Farms on Sunday and we had a BLAST! There's been a couple times recently where we've gone out and he's actually listened and behaved like a nice little boy as opposed to a demon seed bent on seeing how many times he could make my head spin around.

Tanaka Farms has a little petting zoo. In the past, Sawyer's either wanted to be carried or just refused to touch the animals. This time, he was a wild man! He wanted to pet every goat - and he did! He was cute, pretending to kiss them. Then we went on a tractor ride and got to pick our own carrots, green beans and onions. If you ever want your kids to eat vegetables, let them pick them themselves!

It was a great day, and a nice mommy-son bonding time. It unfortunately ran through his normal lunch time, and I was desperate, so I bought a little lemon loaf cake at the farm's little shop. I dug out a hunk with my (washed) fingers, and Sawyer ate it in his seat on the drive home, shortly before he passed out and, I'm sure, dreamed of fuzzy little goats...

Running update: We are in our sixth week, and it's not getting easier. What I wouldn't give to do a run with no hills. I did a 6-mile bonus run Saturday morning which involved picking my way up and down steep hills covered with soft sand, rocks, and drainage flaps. Oh - and it was me and the two fastest women. Needless to say, I spent a LOT of time watching their ponytails flap in the distance. Today I did another extra 3.2 miles. This time, a few other women went too, and one of them ran right along with me, which was nice. Not sure if I'm going to get that 8 minute mile by the end of camp, but I'm a lot closer than I was when I started!

Where in the world is my REAL Fooious?

My mother recently sent Sawyer a new copy of the Velveteen Rabbit, which also comes with an audio CD narrated by Meryl Streep.
Sawyer loves books. He'd love it if I'd read 17 to him before bed. She had previously sent us the Little Engine That Could and that became his instant favorite. But now. But now. It's the Velveteen Rabbit.

The problem with this is I have yet to read it without the words having to squeeze through the enormous lump in my throat.

The book, for those of you who don't know, is about the little stuffed rabbit, a Christmas gift for a boy, who yearns to be Real. He meets an old toy horse who tells him that the only way to become Real is to be truly loved by a child. It eventually happens for the Velveteen Rabbit. He becomes the boy's constant companion, but after the boy gets sick, everything he slept with has to be burned. Velveteen Rabbit is rescued by the nursery magic fairy, who turns him into an actual rabbit.

There is just something so gentle about the message of love, love lost, acceptance and new beginnings in the book. I know I'm getting quite shmaltzy here, but if you haven't read it in awhile, or ever, it's worth another look. Even a teary-eyed one.

I remember hours upon hours spent with my stuffed animals when I was small, especially my pink dog, Fooious. Or perhaps it's spelled Foo E. Uss. I loved that creature literally to its death. At some point, the threadbare, understuffed thing was taken away and replaced by a nicer, plusher pink dog. But I knew.

It just wasn't the REAL Fooious.

We are in TROUBLE!!!!

A girlfriend?

Sawyer, as promised, was deposited back at preschool today. He started getting his boo-boo face before we even left home, but I promised I would carry him and put Sage in the stroller. He was fine on the car ride over, but once we walked into the classroom, it was ugly. He clung to me like one of those cobwebs I run into, crying. We finally sat down so the teacher could read a book (the other boy who also wanted to read had a runny nose! I wanted to usher the little infectious germboy out of the school as soon as possible, but I restrained myself). Sawyer was okay for a bit, then the second I got up, started clinging and crying again. I disentangled myself and handed him to the teacher he seems to like better, and I made my getaway.

I chatted with some of the other moms while we were waiting to pick up the kids after school. One of them has a daughter named Alyssa, who apparently was very sad that Sawyer wasn't in school last week.

Meanwhile, I saw Sawyer sitting in the circle with the other kids while the teacher read. She saw us at the door and told us we could come in. Sawyer ran right to me, but I noticed he wasn't frantic or wanting to be picked up. We went outside into the play yard, and Alyssa came to the door and tried to get out. Sawyer opened the door for her and I said, "Is that your friend Alyssa?" And Sawyer said "Yes" and patted her on the head! Of course, being a typical male, he was otherwise oblivious to her. I'd asked him before if he'd made any friends and he said there was a boy named Evan who he liked - but there's no one named Evan in his school! Anyway, the teacher had yelled over to me that Sawyer had a GREAT day. So hopefully Thursday will be less traumatic.

It's (s)not funny!

Can this sinus thing-y PLEASE go away? The good news is, although I am still blowing enough green stuff to spackle by bathroom tile, Sawyer seems to be on the mend. We got him back on singulair and hopefully it will help. Poor little guy. He's going to preschool tomorrow whether he likes it or not!

Sage made her official park debut as a mobile child tonight. Not surprisingly, she loved the slides and tried to climb up them. She also enjoyed going in the swing next to her brother. I unfortunately only had my cell phone camera to record the moment.

I forgot to mention that a couple weeks ago (before the plague hit) Sawyer and I went scootering at the lake. A man was jogging by and Sawyer wanted to catch him. He was even with the man for a moment, and yelled "Yeah, baby, yeah!" Luckily the man smiled. I had to stop jogging after him because I was afraid I'd pee my pants.

Running update: Today we separated into four groups, 1 being the slowest and 4 the fastest. I opted for group 2, especially with my lingering phlegm. There were four women in our group, including one who was recovering from shin splints. We did pretty well, tho I had a tough time with one hill. Mouth breathing is not an attractive thing. It was flattering, though, as before we started one of the women in the group asked if I was sure I wanted to be in 2 and not 3.

Bottles - be gone!!!

Sage just finished her second day with no bottles! This is HUGE news at our house because 1) Sawyer gave his last one up at 18 months and 2) we only had to buy one can of Nutramigen at almost $24 a can and 3) she seems to be doing great so far on the soymilk, which she will ONLY drink from a cup! WOOHOO!! Now I actually have room in my dishwasher for other stuff (like the 3,000 sippy cups we manage to use a day). I haven't tried whole milk with her yet, which of course would be the easiest thing to manage, but we'll take the soy!

In other (non)news, David arrived home from his conference in Tahoe with the evil head cold! He took a sick day and promptly went to bed. Meanwhile I sat and fumed on the couch. I've been miserable for a week while he was away - I would've KILLED for a nap! The nice thing is Sage went down just 30 minutes after Sawyer and woke up a little bit after him, so I got a nice break. Which I spent watching some inane shows about pregnant models and then, of course, Oprah. I actually made dinner for a change with a super-easy turkey meatloaf recipe and we actually managed to eat as a family. Shocking, isn't it?

Running update: returned to class today after a week off. It was a fairly tough run, lots of downhill but then some killer uphills. I did okay. I did swipe Sawyer's inhaler (yes, I've stooped to stealing drugs from my 2 1/2 year old) and took a few puffs in the car on the way. We did a little over four miles. The worst part is my left adductor is back to hurting again. Ugh.

Words are overrated

I was trying to encourage my little sweet potato to try a little sweet potato. I offered a nice orange chunk to her on the end of my finger, and brought it toward her mouth. And what did the ungrateful little prodigy say, in an adorable, high tiny voice?

No. No no no. No.

I'm so proud.

Meanwhile, snot-a-palooza continues in the household. Sawyer was actually worse today than yesterday, so he's probably not going to go to preschool again tomorrow. Sage was about the same, but she is SO digging the soymilk. We are down to one bottle, before bed, and that will be done by the end of the week for sure. YIPPEE!! (She also likes to say the word "cracker" and will wave and say "Hi-iii.") But I digress. What about ME and MY snot, you ask? Ick. Or rather, thick. I still have a headache and am stuffed up, but I'm sure I'll feel fine by the weekend.

I'm planning on running Friday - it will be an entire week off!! Hopefully I will get to do the bonus 6-miler on Saturday. When Sawyer crawled into bed to "snuggle with mommy" at 5:40 this morning, all I could think was "I'd be 10 minutes into my run by now..."

Drugs are good - take THAT Tom Cruise!

Okay, maybe he didn't specifically rant against cold medicine, but I'm sure it's coming soon. Although now that he's rehabbing (HA! No pun intended, I am SOOOOO clever) his image, he probably won't say too much about anything. To think that he was my first movie star crush. I went to see All the Right Moves in high school and I fell in love! My friend's dad owned a video store and he got me the movie poster, which I hung proudly on my wall. At least I did not kiss it at night as I did with my ginormous Shaun Cassidy poster...

Anyway, I digress. I have been freakin' miserable with this cold. So last night, since David was home, I took some Advil Cold & Sinus at about 8 p.m. then crawled into bed. I woke up again at 2 a.m. as my nose had resumed dripping like an ice cream cone in 95 degree heat. I noticed that David's side of the bed was empty and his pillow was gone. I crept downstairs to get my meds and he was snoozing on the couch. Guess he did not want to catch the horrible plague! I took another two caplets, then slept until Sawyer came in at 6:45 a.m. And since David was home this morning, I took another dose - yep, the entire recommended dosage for a 24 hour span was taken in just 12 hours. I'm an addict!! But at least I'm not wiping my nose every 2 seconds.

Some not-so-good news..

I spoke to my mother today. She had an update on my Dad, who has been in a nursing home after having a stroke shortly after Sawyer was born. Dad has had a rough time over the past few months, including a MRSA infection (it entered through the place in his chest where he was temporarily receiving kidney dialysis). He was back in the hospital last weekend with a low blood count and chest congestion. The doctor who cared for him there talked to Mom about Dad's prognosis. It's not good. My mother was hoping to get him to his 75th birthday in May, but the doctor thinks that's a long shot. Dad is weak. He has congestive heart failure and renal failure. He's not eating much. He is, according to my brother, skin and bones, a shock when he's spent most of his adult life being overweight. We want to get up there in early October. He's never met Sage, and has seen Sawyer just twice. It is sad that the kids will not remember him at all. I remember my Dad's father, vaguely; he died when I was 5 or 6 and I felt bad that I didn't feel sad or cry like my sister. When we went up last summer Sawyer climbed right onto my father's lap and played around with the wheelchair. My Dad talked about it for months afterward.

David and I have recently started working on our trusts and wills. To see my name in the sentence "In the event of the death of __ __ ___ " was incredibly eerie. I mean, we all know it's coming, but to see it there, in black and white... it just made it all a little more immediate. And real.

Perhaps a change in topic? Sawyer was worse today, so poor David came home from his trip then turned right around and took Sawyer to KidsDoc. The reason the nebulizer wasn't working is because his lungs are totally clear! He just has a bad cold, with maybe a slight fever. Sage of course woke up with a runny nose and sneezed all day. She napped for a total of maybe an hour. Hopefully she'll sleep through the night. I started sneezing and have a scratchy throat. That 5 a.m. wakeup call will be very tough..

Random thoughts...

So Sawyer is sick...AGAIN!! I really think this current runny nose/cough thing is allergies. His eczema is also going crazy. He had a playdate Friday and I called his friend's mother this morning to make sure her son wasn't sick, and he's fine, as is Sage, leading me again to think this is allergies.

Speaking of playdates...so my friend's son J is potty trained, and went to go pee in the bathroom. Sawyer wanted to go in too. After J was done Sawyer wanted to try to pee, so I got his diaper and shorts off. He tried to go, but couldn't. He then found an empty toilet paper role under the cabinet and ran off to the living room, sans bottoms, and jumped on the couch. Then my boy decided to put the tube on his penis - and he was, shall we say, pretty excited about the whole thing! He thought it was pretty hilarious. My friend yelled at me to get a camera, but David had taken one on his trip and the other was locked in the office with the dogs. The kid definitely has a fascination with his private part...

Sage had just three bottles today! I brought her down after she woke up and gave her breakfast right away and a sippy cup full of soymilk. I gave her a formula bottle before her nap (she was pretty stoked about it), then one of soymilk before her second nap (she was a little confused by the contents). I gave her a regular formula bottle before bed. I do not want the 18-month bottle marathon we went through with Sawyer! She also - so far, knock wood, rub the rabbit's foot, pick a four-leaf clover - has not had any adverse reactions to the soy milk. Woohoo!

I could never, every be a single mom. I really don't know how they do it. I mean, really. The past two days have been tough. Sawyer doesn't listen, and Sage is a wild woman. Luckily she at least has been sleeping well. Sawyer was in my room at midnight, 4:30 a.m. and again at 6. I'm too worried he's going to fall out of bed to let him stay. Plus, I'm not into the family bed. I love my space too much! Anyway, when he came in at 6, he was very fussy. He'd been sneezing all night, and his nose was really stuffy. He was having a hard time breathing. Finally, at about 6:30, I lifted my head to look at him. He pounced, throwing Curious George Takes a Train at me and demanding that I read the book! Ugh. My eyes refused to focus. I almost dozed off as George hid in the garbage can (luckily Sawyer pointed out where he was hiding). I did get a little time to myself later in the day and managed to doze for 45 minutes while both kids slept. I then took both kids out to our favorite fast-food Greek place. I swear it took me a good 15 minutes to get them out of the car once we got there. First I had to get Sage's booster seat together. Then I had to get her socks and shoes on. Put her in the stroller. Attach the diaper bag to the stroller. Stick my wallet in the stroller. When I got Sawyer out, he cried that he also wanted to ride in the stroller. But I'd asked him before and he said he'd wanted to walk, so I had the combi and not the Duallie. Luckily dinner was mostly uneventful, though Sawyer spilled enough rice on the patio to feed an entire flock of birds. Or pelt a large wedding party...

The ultimate pickup line

Sawyer decided he wanted Daddy to take him to preschool today. He said he didn't want to go, but David talked him into it and he was happy when he left. Then David called. "Coyote uuuugly" was his description of the dropoff. Sawyer threw a nutty, saying he wanted to go home NOW and that he wanted Mommy. But David left him after about 10 minutes, and we got no calls, so we figured he'd settled down. When I went to get him, guess who was sitting on the teacher's lap while she read a book to the class? He seemed very happy to see me and wanted to be picked up right away. "I love you Mommy," he said. "I missed you. I had so much fun!" And then, as we walked out of the gate.."I'm so proud of you, Mommy!"

Sage update: She is now starting to point at what she wants and say "Dis. Dis." She also said something that sounded like "cracker." Both came in handy when I was sitting here typing. She waddled over, pointed at the bag of goldfish crackers next to me, and said "Dis." My little piglet!

It's official - I'm the mom of a preschooler!

Sawyer had his first day of preschool Tuesday. He was VERY excited, especially because he got to bring his special new bucket. All the kids bring a bucket to and from school each day. It holds a change of clothes and, in Sawyer's case, diapers. Sawyer's bucket is red. So are a lot of his classmates. This is because it was the only normal shaped bucket that Target had - can you imagine? Anyway, he decorated it with stickers of - what else? - planes, trains, trucks and boats. He even has some sparkly sharks and sting rays slapped on there. We attempted hand prints, but it didn't go so well. Sawyer was more interested in wiping his sticky metallic-silver painted hands on the walls and the refrigerator. I also tried to stencil his name in black sharpie on it. Let's just say the letters aren't exactly straight, but at least I spelled his name correctly. He seemed a bit confused when David and I asked for hugs and kisses before we left, but he was mostly interested in seeing the bunny rabbit (it's name, I believe, is Bandit, but Sawyer is convinced it's Band-Aid). When I came to get him the teacher said that he'd cried during transitions, but that otherwise he did great. The first thing Sawyer said to me was "Where's Daddy?" He then reported that he'd cried and asked to go home and see Daddy, but the teachers said "no." He also said he was supposed to hold a rope and walk with the other kids but he asked to be carried instead and the teachers said "no." I will have to follow up with them tomorrow morning to find out what the story was. He did say that he had fun and that he had apple juice and square crackers for dessert. He was disappointed that his friend Jacob was not in his class. I really don't know who this was a greater rite of passage for, Sawyer or his parents. I was proud that I didn't cry. I just feel like he's SO LITTLE! It's just another small "goodbye" that comes with the territory, I guess..

My sweet baby girl

Well, we made it. One year. I feel like I'm just getting to know you. For your first 7 1/2 months, you cried. I was so sad; I felt awful that you were so miserable all the time, that I brought into the world someone so unhappy. In some ways, it made me love you even more fiercely; maybe you needed more of me. And then, you woke up. Sun shone on you and in you, and suddenly, we saw you emerge. The real you. You amaze us. You are fearless. Determined. Tempermental. Confident and curious. Nothing (not even childproof locks) stands in your way. You are so adorable and loving and snuggly. You cry to be held, only to squirm to be put right back down again. You are a mommy's girl, clinging and wanting to come to me, but your face lights up for Daddy - would it kill you to say mama once in awhile? You are so beautiful. Your eyes are amazing, blue and gray and sometimes green. I can't wait to know your thoughts, dreams, even silly stuff, the secrets you might whisper into my ear. Shoe shopping! I hope you'll be my companion on many expeditions. My best friend. My sweet babes. Happy birthday, my beautiful love!

Tall ships

Today we went to the Tall Ships festival in Dana Point. We got there early to make sure we got decent parking. This was a mistake, because although we found a close spot, we then had to listen to Sawyer whine for 45 minutes about how he wanted to go on the pirate ship NOW! He and I sat on a bench in front of the boats while David took Sage to buy tickets. Sawyer used this time to become terrified of the boats. He clung to me and said into my ear "I'm sorry Mommy that I'm scared of the pirate boats!" He did finally get to go on one, but he was lukewarm about the whole thing. We then went to the Ocean Institute and he found a tank of sharks to stare at for a good while. Our next stop was to stand on some rocks and watch the waves break, which was cool, but then David mentioned a smoothie to him so Mr. One Track Mind could not be sidetracked from his goal. We did manage to get a hamburger in him before he had his smoothie. Luckily Sage napped through most of this..
Speaking of Sage, I can't believe her birthday is tomorrow! We turned her carseat around today and she couldn't have been more pleased with herself. She looked around with a big smile on her face and kicked her legs around. Hopefully the new position will deter Sawyer from smashing her in the face with his metal airplanes..

Girl Genius/Preschool/Progress

Sage has now figured out how to open the "child-proof" locks on the cabinets. Hopefully she won't develop an affinity for drain cleaner.

Sawyer (who, incidentally, didn't have enough interest in the innards of our cabinets to think about trying to break in) had his open house at preschool yesterday. I went into the director's office and climbed up on my soapbox to emphasize how paranoid I am about Sawyer coming into contact with peanuts or other nuts (we're not sure if he has an allergy other than peanuts, but I don't want to find out there). I need them to assure me beyond a reasonable doubt that it will be safe for him. This will be the first time he will be away from me where I can't monitor what he's eating (he's been to MIL's but not without David there). I did not think it was the time to mention the reason we're sure he's got severe peanut allergy is because his mother (yes, that would be me) accidentally gave him a peanut butter cookie at a Christmas party) and sent him to the hospital. Anyhoo. I don't want to be a PITA mother but... Sawyer seemed to really like the school. He cried because he didn't want to leave and David had to carry him out of there. Hopefully he won't care when he realizes that we're actually going to LEAVE him there on Tuesday for a few hours. I'm sure I'll be crying more than him!

In other news, we did a timed mile today and I came in at 8:55 - after running a 9:21 just 11 days ago. WOOHOO! Maybe this camp is helping after all! David seems to think I will run my 8 minute-mile yet. I have six weeks til the end of camp...

Gearing up for the big 1!

Sage will turn one (!!!) on Sunday. The past few days, she's been kicking it into high gear in terms of doing adorable new things. She is now kissing her stuffed unicorn and bear, and also our dogs. She leans in, makes a "mmmmwah" sound and smacks her little lips - so cute! When she hears the phone ring, she puts her hand up to her ear and says "ay-ya." She's also really starting to babble, where she makes all kinds of sounds (disdisreebadada, for example) and looks right at us like "YES, I'm talking to YOU, morons!" She is also starting to climb, something Sawyer doesn't really do much of (though he climbed a ladder at the park today by himself, after watching a much younger girl do it with ease). Sage is also pointing at things, though everything seems to be "da da." Figures.

Random thought: If you blog, and nobody reads it, does it make a sound?

How you feelin? HOT HOT HOT!

Too hot. Too fast. Too out-of-shape. Too slow.

That sums up the 5K I ran today. I'm so disappointed by how I "ran" today. I tried keeping up with one of my camp-mates (mistake) and ran the first mile, which was mostly uphill, way too fast. I had nothing left for the last mile. It was in the 80s at 8 in the morning, and I was dehydrated and didn't eat enough before hand. I barely made it, and finished in just over 32 minutes.

It was nice, though, to run by David, Sawyer and Sage and hear Sawyer yelling "Go Mommy!"

The photo illustrations for previous post..

Last year, I was the entertainment..

I went to our neighbor's house today for a birthday party for their two year-old twin boys. I had just walked in when a woman I didn't know said to me, "Weren't you the one who had the baby last year?" Well, yes, yes I was. Last year, when the boys had their first birthday party, I had Sage. Why this is a memorable moment to complete strangers is because I just so happened to accidentally have her at home. On my couch. With my doula making a fine catch. Nine men I'd never seen before (paramedics, fireman, who knows who else was there)looked on. And somewhere, down at the end of the couch, was my husband.
I had been in labor denial the entire day. I woke up with fairly noticeable contractions. But Sage was not due for another week. And Sawyer was nine days late. So I did what most women do under these circumstances: I went shopping. I had to clutch a rack at TJ Maxx to get through a particularly strong contraction. But I had no trouble at Target until I got in my car to leave. I was in fairly regular phone contact with my doula. I headed home to try to start my hypnosis. I had taken a class called Hypnobabies for the purpose of having a drug-free, PAIN-free birth. I was having a touch time getting relaxed enough, because after each contraction, I had horrible nerve pain. I guess I didn't quite impart to my doula how much discomfort I was in. David finally took Sawyer to the party, because I couldn't relax with Sawyer running around.
Then, at about 5 p.m., I talked to my doula and she decided to come over - not because she thought I was imminent, but because I sounded lonely! Forty minutes later (she packed a dinner since she thought it would be a long night) she arrived.
She helped me relax during the contractions, which wasn't a problem, but nothing helped with the ensuing nerve pain (like an electric shock going around my waist and shooting down my legs. Good times.). Then she asked if I'd peed lately. I couldn't remember, so off we went to the bathroom.
I sat down, peed a little, then felt a POP. My water broke! A moment later, I had to push. We both immediately looked at the bathroom rug and then at each other. There was no way I was going to have the baby on the floor! We rushed out of the room and I called David, who was now next door, and told him we had to go to the hospital. Then I had to push again and said "We're not going to make it!" David called 911, but by then I felt better and wanted to try to go to the hospital. So he told 911 that we didn't need them, and walked out of the house.
Now, because of the party, there were tons of people walking up and down the street. I got into the car. I tried to sit down. David started the car. He told me to fasten my seatbelt. I realized I couldn't sit down. I panicked thinking he was going to try to drive, when THERE WAS A BABY ABOUT TO COME OUT! My neighbor helped me back into the house while David called 911 again. My doula spread chuck pads on my couch. I lied down. The paramedics finally arrived. Sage was born two minutes later. She was perfect. And sunnyside up, explaining the nerve pain.
I came out of the house on a gurney, and waved to the crowd that had formed. I felt amazing! I can't wait for Sage to be old enough to hear all about it...

Oy are my legs tired!

I signed up for an eight-week running camp, where the premise is you run an easy eight-minute mile by the end of the program. The whole thing was intriguing to me because I am the slowest runner on the planet. Seriously. Old ladies with aluminum walkers regularly leave me in the dust of their white orthotic shoes. And I really do want to see pigs fly, which is exactly what would happen if I could run that fast. Which, to normal runners, really isn't that fast at all. Anyhow. The most insane part of the whole gig is that it's MWF at 5:30 a.m. As in, even before the crack of dawn. I was very nervous at our first meeting, which was last Monday. Turns out there's only one other new runner, the rest have taken this camp numerous times. The good news is I am not the slowest one after all! We did a timed mile the first day and I did a respectable 9:21, which came as a huge shock to me because I didn't think I could even get below 10. Then yesterday, we had to run this lake in the next town. It's 3.2 miles with the last part being a long uphill climb. Plus, we had to "loop around," meaning at designated spots, the lead runner turns around and runs back to the last runner, and everyone follows to keep the group together (then we continue on). So me and the other newbie were jogging along, chatting, when behind us, in purposely loud voices, we hear:

"Those first timers, they always go out too fast."
"Yeah, first timers just don't know how to pace themselves. They're just not used to this."

And so on.
So finally I ask if they are talking about us, then assure them that we're actually really, really fast and are just toying with everyone. I made a joke of it, but inwardly I was a bit steamed. I mean, why not just say "Hey guys, make sure you pace yourselves!" Of course, perhaps I'm being a bit oversensitive (who, me? NEVER!).

Anyway - guess who finished first?
Take that, old-timers!

Oooookay...Now we're crackalacking!

So now, for unknown reasons, my blog is publishing almost right away, including pictures! I haven't been blogging much because I couldn't figure out how to post pics and it seemed to take a day or two for my posts to show up. And now, tonight, it's crackalacking, as Marty the Zebra would say on Madagascar!

Can we rebuild it? Do we have the technology?

Thanks to some helpful women on Mommieswithstyle , I am now going to attempt to post a picture. Any picture. Any picture at all..Bueller? Bueller? It would also be nice to see my posts sometime the same week I write them. Anyway, here it goes...OMG!!! IT WORKED!! There's a pic of my boy on the beach!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!

Forgot the no naps part

In the previous post's headline I mention no naps, but I did not elaborate. Sage used to take about 5 hours worth of naps a day. She also sleeps 12 hours at night. I will save you the mindboggling mathematical calculations and tell you that left her awake just seven hours a day. Bliss. But the past few days, perhaps due to not feeling well or her constant teething, she has slept maybe an hour in the morning and about 45 minutes in the afternoon. Today I heard some suspiciously excited sounds from her cribwhen I thought she'd just been crying. I look up stairs and see her door is open - meaning that someone (hmm...who could it be?) was in her room! Yes, there was Sawyer, visiting his sister. I'd have been more amused if Sawyer had actually slept for longer than 45 minutes (like his usual three hours!).

Of snotty noses and no naps

For some reason, when Sawyer gets a cold, it morphs into some hideous illness that lingers around like an unwanted houseguest. GO ALREADY! My gf came to Sage's party and thought her son just had allergies - until her 5 month-old also got sick. Sawyer and Sage started sneezing their heads off, but Sage was done with it in a day. Which was monumental, because I found that the laws of physics do not allow me to simultaneously wipe two snotty noses after two synchronized sneezes when said noses are sitting across the room from each other. Ick. Sawyer is now blessed with sores on his tongue, which he seems to get whenever he is sick. He is now eating ice cream.

On a more pleasant topic, Sage, who might heretofore be known as Big Bruiser, is walking all over and is into everything. She is very very nosy. Not sure where she inherited that trait..HA HA. Anyway, her latest thing is to pretend to talk on the phone. She puts her hand, the remote, or sometimes, her new pink toy cellphone, and says something like "Aaah aaah" which is her take on Hello. She's a GENIUS!

Truer words have never been spoke

We went to the lake today so that Sawyer could ride his scooter. When we were in the car driving home, I asked him if he had fun. He said he did. "What was your favorite part?" I asked. "My penis," he replied.

In other action, I took Sage down to Nordy's to buy her her first pair of non-Robeez. I had no sooner walked into the shoe department when David called my cell. He was supposed to be "watching" Sawyer. They were at the fountain in the mall throwing coins into the water. Sawyer, who was apparently on his hands and knees up on the ledge (you can probably see where this is heading!) decided he wanted his money back. So - you guessed it - he lost his balance and took a header right into the water! Through some cosmic coincidence I had a change of clothing in the car, so they went to change before meeting us at Nordstrom, where Sawyer told me all about going "under the water!"

Plugged In

Sawyer's favorite thing lately - mainly because he's sick and we haven't been leaving the house much - is to watch his favorite movie, Top Gun, on David's iPod. Occasionally, Sawyer will shout out such gems as "Three-quarters of a mile, call the ball" or "Turn and Burn." David also downloaded Madagascar and the Tigger movie, but Sawyer wants no part of the G-rated ones...

These toes were made for walkin'

Sage is really starting to figure out how to walk. Tonight she took 5, 8 10 little tiny steps. She looked quite startled when she then landed on her butt. The best is when I start clapping and saying "Yay!" and then she starts clapping too. She looks so pleased with herself!

Sawyer has a snotty nose and a cough so we didn't do much today. That of course made him stir crazy so he proceeded to throw toys all over the place. He became well-aquainted with time out.

The good news is a cold front moved in: instead of it being 106 as it was Saturday, it was a brisk 96 today...

Quotes of the (Yester)Day

"I want to pee on Baby Sage."

"Don't hit your sister over the head with a bucket."

"I see Mommy's penis."

Note to Self

Self: Don't show your 2 1/2 year old the movie Bug's Life. Sawyer was watching it the other day, and right at the beginning, these giant, ugly-looking grasshoppers invade the ant hill. Sawyer seemed okay, but then I looked over to where he was sitting on the couch, and his whole face crumpled and he started crying. I asked what was wrong and he said "I'm scared of the grasshopper!" It broke my heart to see how frightened he was. And really, they WERE kinda scary. Big bulgy eyes. Creepy antennae. And those legs! Needless to say, I immediately turned off the movie and told him they were just on TV, they weren't real, and Mommy wouldn't let anything happen to him. Phew. Of course, last night before bed, he said when he closed his eyes he saw a bug. We were prepared for nightmares, but he finally fell asleep without further insect incident.

Here are my other sweeties

The dog with the big ears is Gable. He is almost six. He was found as a puppy cowering under a car in the USC parking lot. I saw his picture on the internet and it was love at first sight. We have no idea what breed he is. The floppy eared one we got six months later. Her name is Garbo, and she is a pit mix. She is a few months younger than Gable, but she has more white on her muzzle. Her special talent is she can be sound asleep, snoring away, and hear a chip drop on the floor two rooms over and will be there before you have a chance to pick it up.

Here are my sweeties. We tried to pose them for a nice shot for my husband's Father's Day photo album. Sage's head looks a little, um, large, but I still thought it was sweet.

Post Numero Uno

Well, I've finally done it. I'm going to attempt a blog. I have nothing to sell, not much wisdom to impart, but I do have two awfully cute kids to post pictures of. We live in the lovely OC where I am a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) to Sawyer, born 12/13/03, and Sage, born 9/10/05, and two large mutts.