Revenge is a dish best served cold - right from the freezer

The odd thing about David being away is that the volume of my voice increases in direct proportion to how many days he's been gone. Actually, maybe it's by the hour.

Yes, my husband has been gone all week - to Hawaii. He claims it's for business, and he didn't pack his golf clubs, so I guess he's telling the truth. However, sending a picture of the ocean view from his hotel in Waikiki was so not cool, you know?

I'm grumpy. The horrible diet and lack of sleep are not helpful. But a big part of it is because Xander insists on being carried everywhere and all the time. If I dare put him down, he will tell me - at an ear-piercing decibel - that he would like to be picked up. Immediately. If I choose to ignore him, so I can, like, make my other kids dinner, he will continue to shriek.

His redeeming quality, aside from his off-the-charts cuteness, is that he goes down for bed pretty easily. Last night, the kids ate their dinner a little later than usual. I gave them each a nice plate of fish, rice and peas (except Sage didn't want rice so she didn't get any). I made the mistake of leaving the serving bowl of rice on the table, as I was planning on eating it for my dinner.

So I'm upstairs nursing Xander and watching the season finale of Millionaire Matchmaker (omg I LOVE Patti Stanger!) when Sawyer yells "Mommy! Come see what Sage did!"

I did not like the sound of this, but I was trapped in my room with a baby attached to me. I finally make it down there. Ugh. It was like a freakin' wedding had just taken place in the dining room. There was rice everywhere. EV-ERY-WHERE. Peas, too.

And Sage, who'd apparently helped herself to the rice? She had the gall to sit there grinning at me. When I finally got my head to stop rotating, I told them they would be finishing ALL the rice on their plates and that they'd be getting NO DESSERT.

I probably would've been more angry if I didn't have two dogs that would soon be let in to clean up the mess. But still.

As a spot on passive-aggressive form of revenge, I took my nice carton of blueberry cranberry sorbet out of the freezer and proceded to eat it in front of them. Oh yes I did. And wouldn't you know it? Two bites in and the kids were all over me, asking for some.

Instead, I savored every sweet bite. I deserved it.