My midwife came over today for my final post-partum checkup. I begged her not to clear me to have sex. Not that I'd be awake for it anyway, which is no reflection on my husband, mind you. It's just that 1) I'm horribly exhausted and 2) look where sex got us (see posts on colicky baby, being preggo at 40, etc.).
The good news is she did clear me to exercise. I think this is good news, anyway. It does mean that I have No More Excuses to carry around this extra almost 35 pounds.
I called my trainer a couple weeks ago to tell him I wanted him back. I haven't seen him since I was in my first trimester and just was too sick to work out hard enough to make it worth the cost of the sessions.
I made him promise he won't laugh at me when I see him, at least, not til after I leave. He mentioned what great shape I was in when I last saw him. Yeah, thanks, I said, as I stuck a fork in my eye.
It's a scary scene right now. I tell myself that in the end, I got a healthy baby, so maybe this was the weight gain I needed to pull that off. I then repeat it several times a day, as I pull on my maternity pants yet again.
Perhaps I was just a bit too hasty the day last year I gave away all my "fat" clothes. I was not going to gain weight, and I certainly wasn't going to get pregnant again. It was a glorious feeling at the time. Goodbye, size 10s! So long, pleated-front pants and saggy baggy linen capris! Hello, new closet space!
Now all I'm left with is a bunch of clothes I visit with like old friends - because there's no way I'm getting into any of them any time soon. The thought of shopping for clothes in bigger sizes is, oddly, not appealing. I know.
I need to start running again. I've got to get to the gym. And to see my trainer. Problem is, when? Xander's schedule is still so random, and besides, it's not like I can fit into any of my old workout clothes (yep, I purged all those size larges).
I guess I just don't want to be someone who gives up. Who figures, well, I've got three kids, I'm 40, it is what it is. I don't, in five years, want to talk about the baby weight I never lost.
And so it begins. Soon. I promise. Just after I finish these jelly beans.
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