tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post8672870135707100461..comments2023-06-28T05:20:05.303-07:00Comments on SpecialSauce in the House: National Infertility Awareness Week - My friend's journeyCherylhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-47790274088646591002010-04-29T22:40:36.870-07:002010-04-29T22:40:36.870-07:00Absolutely beautiful, Wendy. No one truly knows an...Absolutely beautiful, Wendy. No one truly knows another person's pain, no matter what the ailment - all we can do is try to emphathize and you make that happen with your heartfelt and honest words. I so identify with your wonderings about the people in your life who choose to say nothing about your struggles. I, too, have been perplexed during my cancer journey (10 years now!!) that there are still people who choose to not acknowledge this truth. Yes - it is a mystery and a hurt - but you and I both know that we have so many people in our lives who are true friends, that we must look past those who just cannot acknowledge our pain and struggles. We have a new reality to deal with, and we must move on... <br /><br />You have this wonderful support system because *you* put it into place for yourself! Yes - that is true. The love that you feel from so many people is love that started with you. <br /><br />You and Wes will be wonderful parents and I pray with all my heart that you will get that opportunity. <br /><br />I love you, Wendy. <br /><br />PattiPatriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14086625227487977752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-30496867622040583902010-04-28T12:12:31.335-07:002010-04-28T12:12:31.335-07:00I proudly call the Amazing Wendy a long time frien...I proudly call the Amazing Wendy a long time friend and sister. She captured the essence of my personal struggle with infertility so truthfully. The lows are so low, and the "helpful" comments are just achingly painful. <br /><br />My ache subsided with the addition of our adopted daughter. With my husband and our son, the mental snapshot of my family was completed. That dotted line that designated the missing piece was filled with the arrival of Mary Cathryn. <br /><br />Fortunatley for me, Wendy was there several years later with some sage counsel for an adoptive mom. The ability to share and bond during personal crisis is the manifestation of hope. I hope and pray each day for my sister and sweet friend!marie ford palmernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-30241255329214148692010-04-28T10:21:11.167-07:002010-04-28T10:21:11.167-07:00Thanks for sharing this.Thanks for sharing this.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06975577586559771407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-28365684672675800162010-04-28T09:41:14.182-07:002010-04-28T09:41:14.182-07:00Thank you so much for sharing. It really is a pers...Thank you so much for sharing. It really is a personal topic and those of us who are face with fertility and pregnancy complications hearing insensitive remarks weigh on us deeply. <br /><br />The more the topic is let out of the bag in society - the more 'comfortable' people can be talking about this painful subject, and we can learn to better support each other.<br /><br />I wish you all the best in your journey and thank you again for opening up your experiences,heart and knowledge.<br /><br />Devan @ Accustomed Chaos<br />http://www.accustomedchaos.comDevan @ Accustomed Chaoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14542655336185397634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-22369282439479751802010-04-27T22:39:50.022-07:002010-04-27T22:39:50.022-07:00Hugs to you Wendy (we also met at Cheryl's sho...Hugs to you Wendy (we also met at Cheryl's shower) and well wishes to you on your route to being a parent - I am with Cheryl - I feel certain you'll get there even if the road is winding and goes ways you hadn't mapped. <br /><br />I'm not infertile but I have had a small window into what it's like b/c my oldest child is adopted (by choice) and I heard all the insensitive "Oh see - you adopted and then you relaxed and now you're able to get pregnant with your *own*!" comments with my bio kid's pregnancies. All I could think was if I had been struggling with fertility issues I'd have wanted to smack these people and even still I wanted to smack them for implying that my oldest wasn't really mine in some way. I've come to the conclusion that people are idiots. For the most part I try and accept their intentions from whence they came but really - we could all use to be a little more sensitive. <br /><br />That said, I have a little lucky fertility idol that's been passed around to several of my friends while they were doing fertility treatments. I'm not saying the thing works any better than an e book but it has boobs on springs and that's just funny. You're welcome to the boobie idol any time you need a laugh. I hope that was not insensitive of me!Momfluentialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08877092621676176657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-29019713708390966782010-04-27T22:36:10.340-07:002010-04-27T22:36:10.340-07:00I have been on every end of the spectrum with this...I have been on every end of the spectrum with this....my 1st marriage broke up after 7yrs of fertility treatments, with the end result being that I would never have children. One month after moving in with my NOW husband, OMG, WTF, I'M PREGNANT! After our 1st, thankfully uneventful pregnancy, I lost the next TWO, & was certain there was only one miracle for me. Again, I resigned myself to it, but agreed to see a specialist once I had come to terms with 2 losses in less than a year, the most recent only being a few weeks prior. Instead, I wound up pregnant again immediately, & was terrified of bonding with a child I was sure I'd never carry to term. To this day, I think I struggle more with that daughter because of my hesitance to bond. THEN, I seemingly couldn't get pregnant again, & was again booked for treatments 3 years later, when the next 2 kids finally just came of their own accord, with relatively uneventful pregnancies. Thank you for sharing your story, for those to whom it "comes easy", they can't grasp the constant pain & turmoil we go through, the anger & resentment, the whole gamut of emotions....I couldn't even go to my own sister's baby shower, it was just too painful for me to see her so happy & it come so easy. Thank you again for sharing....The Mayor!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00809789624185522788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-10226159789078757732010-04-27T21:30:25.459-07:002010-04-27T21:30:25.459-07:00Wendy, my heart goes out to you. We had secondary ...Wendy, my heart goes out to you. We had secondary infertility and tried for about a year and a half to get pregnant again. It is so tough.<br /><br />My absolute pet peeve is the reaction, "My husband sneezes and it gets me pregnant!" You would never walk up to someone with cancer and say "Look how healthy I am!", yet somehow this is supposed to help???<br /><br />UGH.Jamiehttp://www.minimebabygear.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-50954304574947136832010-04-27T20:07:31.014-07:002010-04-27T20:07:31.014-07:00Wendy,
I met you at, of all things, Cheryl's b...Wendy,<br />I met you at, of all things, Cheryl's baby shower. She has always spoken so fondly of you. <br /><br />My heart goes out to you and your husband. I can't imagine what it's been like for you both. Thank you for bringing to light things I wouldn't have thought of, without reading your post. <br /><br />Wishing you the best.Krisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-19612331264952367472010-04-27T19:54:16.473-07:002010-04-27T19:54:16.473-07:00This is such a wonderful post that needs to be rea...This is such a wonderful post that needs to be read by everyone who knows someone dealing with this issue. <br /><br />Infertility is such challenging and heartbreaking time. I know this from having several friends who struggled with fertility and were finally successful with IVF when all other options ran their course. <br /><br />Sending many fertile wishes your way, Wendy. I hope you know the joys and challenges of parenthood very soon. <br /><br />-AimeeAimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Bloghttp://www.aintyomamasblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-37969895218222518682010-04-27T16:43:13.639-07:002010-04-27T16:43:13.639-07:00Oh, I can so relate to this post and every bit of ...Oh, I can so relate to this post and every bit of advice. I just felt like shouting out, "Amen sista!" It took us 5 years to conceive. I'll never forget a preggy (jokingly) saying, "if we're not having a girl, we're going to adopt one." When you're going through this, these types of comments REALLY don't help. Wishing you oodles of luck on your journey toward motherhood, Wendy!Maritnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-89151444474712512912010-04-27T16:05:09.073-07:002010-04-27T16:05:09.073-07:00JoAnn - Agreed. Completely.JoAnn - Agreed. Completely.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-33394081571055899242010-04-27T14:19:51.143-07:002010-04-27T14:19:51.143-07:00Naomi - Thanks so much for stopping by! Wendy has ...Naomi - Thanks so much for stopping by! Wendy has been reading your blog for some time and she's SO happy you came by!<br /><br />Kristy - Sounds like you have the right idea.<br /><br />Kirsten - I have a friend who had secondary infertility and she watched me have two babies while she had m/c after m/c. I felt so guilty..<br /><br />Jen - I'm sure you said the right things, knowing you!<br /><br />A 2Z - if only that happened for everyone! Glad you have your two - and I had X at 40 and he's perfect! ;)Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-16179455458214764402010-04-27T14:15:46.346-07:002010-04-27T14:15:46.346-07:00This needed to be said.This needed to be said.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00732203991908884482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-41832337336358592062010-04-27T14:10:09.313-07:002010-04-27T14:10:09.313-07:00Thank you for the advice! Am I wrong in thinking t...Thank you for the advice! Am I wrong in thinking that there seems to be more infertile women now than ever? Or are we more aware of the problem? I also was infertile but decided to just give up. As a teacher I told myself that I would love those kids like they were mine. As soon as I gave up on being a mom, bingo, I was pregnant at 35 and then 38 ouch! Its kinda late in life! Its one of those things people never now what to say to you when you are trying to get pregnant. Thanks for visiting my blog.<br /><br />Anne-MarieA 2 Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15210451903434090202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-78222452999745127752010-04-27T13:12:25.282-07:002010-04-27T13:12:25.282-07:00I had a friend who struggled with miscarriages. It...I had a friend who struggled with miscarriages. It was difficult as a friend to know what to say. I didn't want to be insensitive, yet I didn't want to say nothing. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your story and for advice.Jen Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263256163046661428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-5662561022443946372010-04-27T11:49:53.141-07:002010-04-27T11:49:53.141-07:00I do have a friend who tried so very hard, and fin...I do have a friend who tried so very hard, and finally did get there. I went through a great deal of turmoil when I discovered I was preg w/ #3, and wish I'd seen this advice beforehand. <br /><br />I wish you a peaceful journey Wendy, wherever it takes you.kirstenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17833274360880170296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-83437177760039699622010-04-27T11:47:46.662-07:002010-04-27T11:47:46.662-07:00I have seen friends struggle with this and it is s...I have seen friends struggle with this and it is so hard. It is hard to know the right thing to say, so I have tried to not say much and just listen and be a friend.Kristy @Loveandblasphemyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02634987114195614214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-36031457070063719742010-04-27T10:45:15.759-07:002010-04-27T10:45:15.759-07:00Very good advice!!! (or please don't give us a...Very good advice!!! (or please don't give us advice at all)InfertileNaomihttp://999reasonstolaugh.com/noreply@blogger.com