tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post5005594209307356994..comments2023-06-28T05:20:05.303-07:00Comments on SpecialSauce in the House: Of Faith and the Easter BunnyCherylhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-50937722004931506792010-04-05T21:26:11.777-07:002010-04-05T21:26:11.777-07:00AM - Sounds like a good plan - and at least you ha...AM - Sounds like a good plan - and at least you have a plan, right? ;)<br /><br />Sara - Totally agree. And all the jelly beans were sold out at Target!<br /><br />Ciaran - Yes. A very interesting convo!<br /><br />Lucy - What's the thing? Never talk religion or politics? And I think the sex talk WILL be easier. I mean, I had three kids - I *think* I know what it's all about! lolCherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-10517626621479128272010-04-05T18:26:10.763-07:002010-04-05T18:26:10.763-07:00Great post. I've spent a lot of my life belie...Great post. I've spent a lot of my life believing but questioning if that makes sense. I believe there must be a higher power, but at the same time the Romans and Greeks had a ton of gods back in the day and now we call those myths. Who's to say people won't be saying that about us years from now?<br /><br />My biggest religious issue right now is that I am INSANELY private with it--can't pray out loud in front of people, don't want to discuss my beliefs with anyone, etc. Which makes me worry how I'm going to explain it to my son when he's older. I get sooo uncomfortable talking about religion (I don't know why) that I think the sex talk will be easier! :)Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043927421591320410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-50285801919568058742010-04-02T19:25:01.538-07:002010-04-02T19:25:01.538-07:00I foresee our kids having a long discussion about ...I foresee our kids having a long discussion about G-d sometime soon. Should be interesting. Great post!Momfluentialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08877092621676176657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-12530401286943716492010-04-02T17:52:17.497-07:002010-04-02T17:52:17.497-07:00I get very turned off by Christians who say they c...I get very turned off by Christians who say they can't wait to get to heaven. I like it right where I am - thank you! I consider myself a Christian but I feel closest to G-d outside of church. Quiet moments are when I feel most moved... <br /><br />Great post... And BTW, Easter candy goes to 75% off Monday. ;-)Sara @ The Football Wifehttp://www.thefootballwife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-64456980686951753732010-04-02T16:06:38.762-07:002010-04-02T16:06:38.762-07:00This is a great post about such a difficult subjec...This is a great post about such a difficult subject. As my daughter has only just turned three we have not reached the stage where we need to have these discussions but I know the time will come. I agree with so much of what you say here. <br /><br />My parents are not religious - more akin to atheists in fact, but when we were children they did not reveal this to us, rather once we were old enough to appreciate what we would learn we started attending church and continued to attend for a number of years. So effectively my parents let us decide for ourselves what we believed and did not believe. I am not a religious person either but I plan on following the same course with my daughter so that when she is old enough to, she can also make her own decisions.One Photohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05793386254564806126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-7965977864138467012010-04-01T19:35:06.870-07:002010-04-01T19:35:06.870-07:00Mrs. BAL: Wait, am I then you? Maybe you wrote the...Mrs. BAL: Wait, am I then you? Maybe you wrote the post and I was writing your reply to the post? Anyway - thank you!!<br /><br />Tonya - VERY cool about Noah! That must've made you feel a teeny bit better..<br /><br />Andrea - I do think a lot of the religious/bible stories are a little much for young kids. Sounds like you did a great job, tho!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-89382987393493014212010-04-01T17:33:16.296-07:002010-04-01T17:33:16.296-07:00This is a conversation that we just had the other ...This is a conversation that we just had the other day when my 3yo asked what Easter was. I explained that it was the birth of Jesus - that he was born on Christmas day, but because he was the son of G-d he has a second birthday - she was ok w/ that answer. I questioned what to say - I thought that telling her that he died and was resurrected was too much for a 3yo...this is such a hard discussion - thank you for writing so thoughtfully about it!Andreahttp://parentise.com/livenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-53638055083803054562010-04-01T17:31:09.883-07:002010-04-01T17:31:09.883-07:00Just yesterday my 3yo asked me what Easter was. I...Just yesterday my 3yo asked me what Easter was. I expalained that it was the birth of Jesus - that he was born on Christmas but because he is the son of God he has a second birthday...she was ok with that. I struggled with what to say. Do I tell her that he died and was reborn? Isn't that a bit much for a 3yo? DO I tell her about other traditions? She understands that people believe different things but that we go to church...this is such a hard topic - thank you for writing so thoughtfully about it!Andreahttp://parentise.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-74332758600493995032010-04-01T16:54:47.700-07:002010-04-01T16:54:47.700-07:00A little P.S.:
I've always felt that little k...A little P.S.:<br /><br />I've always felt that little kids might have a better inside track of understanding these things. The following really sort of stunned me silent (which is, as you know, not a regular affliction for me).<br /><br />My Daddy was sick for a very long time with prostate cancer. I'd had to prepare the kids for a long time that he was ill. I had to have discussions about death.<br /><br />The morning we got "the call", we waited to wake the kids until we'd got our flights settled. My daughter came down first, and took it hard. We'd lived directly behind my parents for the first 3 years of her life. <br /><br />Then my youngest came down. Before I could even say a word, he said "it's Pa, isn't it. He died?" I said that yes, he had. He had a small smile, and gave me a hug. He said "it's okay, he'll like Heaven. It's nice. I remember it." <br /><br />Color me speechless. We've not taken the boy child to any sort of religious services, and I honestly have no idea of where he could've gotten that - it had to be coming straight from him.<br /><br />As if that weren't enough, he then shocked me by smiling REALLY big, eyes wide, and in an excited voice said "and guess what else? In Heaven? Pa will have TWO hands!" (Daddy was born with a club left hand.)<br /><br />Honestly, I don't know WHERE that came from. But it sure gave me lots of food for thought, and still does to this day.Tonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840761111063734444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-12784444964144495832010-04-01T16:42:11.276-07:002010-04-01T16:42:11.276-07:00It's a hard discussion, for sure. I was raised...It's a hard discussion, for sure. I was raised in a household that went every Sunday to a small Baptist church in the South (we're talking a one room building and our bathrooms were in a cinder block outhouse). As a teenager, I began reading about "alternative" religions such as Wicca and some Native American beliefs. Years later, I married a guy that happens to be Jewish. <br /><br />Add to all that, I have a child from my first marriage who was raised as a Christian. And then I had a child with my Jewish faith new husband.<br /><br />So yeah, I can relate a little bit about this whole "what the heck do I tell my kids about religion" thing. And it's not even like the whole sex discussion, because at least THAT will be talked about by their peers frequently enough that you can work more on correcting misinformation. But faith? There IS no firm information or misinformation, because you just have to go by what you think and feel. <br /><br />We have Christmas and Hanukkah represented. It took a couple of years of begging (okay, nagging!) to finally get the go-ahead from the hubby to put out my little manger scene, which is one of my favorite thing because it consists of little kids as if they are doing a play and is kinda adorable. <br /><br />The way we've kind of addressed this over the years was to couch things as "some people believe ___, other people believe ___" and following up with how wonderful it is that people can have different beliefs. Inevitably, we'd be asked "but what do YOU believe", and that's a bit trickier. It's trickier because it requires honesty.<br /><br />And it's pretty darn hard to tell these little humans you created that YOU DON'T KNOW something! When they are young and still learning about the world while basically glued to Mom and Dad, we represent these all-knowing, all-seeing beings. I mean, how else would Mom know that little Johnny sneaked a cookie before lunch?! <br /><br />Still, honesty works best. It's OKAY to say "well, Mommy grew up in a household where we believed ___. Now that I'm a grown-up, I ___." It's okay to say "it's sort of a personal thing, and I'm still working on figuring it out". It's also okay to say "I need to think about how to answer your questions. Can we talk about it after lunch?"<br /><br />I think you as well as a parent can in one of those moments. I think there is no "right" or "wrong" way to talk about these things, as long as you DO talk about them when your kids want or need to talk. <br /><br />At least you can be assured of one thing - this is a problem MANY parents face. Kudos for being brave enough to broach a sort of taboo-feeling subject and ask for the insights of others!Tonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02840761111063734444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-34923019880050259552010-04-01T16:05:10.863-07:002010-04-01T16:05:10.863-07:00Cheryl, my first question has to be...Are you ME??...Cheryl, my first question has to be...Are you ME????<br /><br />Really, I am checking myself and looking at your picture and then looking in the mirror and doing the ...naw...couldn't be....<br /><br />I don't think I've ever read a post before that every single solitary word has rang so true for me. I would have even written it if...well..I was you ...which I'm still confused about.<br /><br />Pardon the ramblin..maam..get it ? instead of man?<br /><br />Why do you even let me come here?<br /><br />What I am trying to say is that this was a tremendously wonderful and insightful post!!!<br /><br />(-:MrsBlogAlothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09754196222405796214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-51565116066105091412010-04-01T13:10:26.757-07:002010-04-01T13:10:26.757-07:00Ha! Learned something new. I had no idea why ever...Ha! Learned something new. I had no idea why everyone was typing G-d and just went along thinking it was some rule of the blogging world. Expanding my horizons everyday I am here in SoCal I guess!Mya S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-92144186110646221892010-04-01T12:39:24.187-07:002010-04-01T12:39:24.187-07:00Kirsten - So glad you chimed in! I was curious abo...Kirsten - So glad you chimed in! I was curious about your take, and now I know. Thank you, thank you.<br /><br />Christa - I know - it seems weird that I draw the line at Easter, doesn't it? <br /><br />Mya - that is too funny. The frame of reference for kids! I am obviously in agreement on the brainwashing thing. It's just so hard to know what the right thing to do is! And so I fumble around..<br /><br />Ian - Thanks so much for chiming in! I guess I can't understand why a 2 yr old needs to die from cancer, and the whole idea of that child being in a "better place" is just repugnant to me. That being said - yes, we suffer all kinds of things at are hands and at the hands of other humans. We ALL need to be kinder to one another, in many, many ways.<br /><br />Elle - Jewish people do not write the word "G-d" on anything that can be erased, thus the hyphen. I am glad that you found your own path. I think that's the best way. And I don't find your views opposing - I find them interesting! THere is no wrong or right (despite what some would tell you). Thanks for your comment!!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-6278039645665938932010-04-01T11:31:46.764-07:002010-04-01T11:31:46.764-07:00I have always been curious why everyone types G-d,...I have always been curious why everyone types G-d, leaving out the o? Rabbi Schmuley does it too.<br /><br />Personally, I grew up in a house and family, extended family that didn't/doesn't practice religion. I am certain my grandmothers and great-grandmothers probably did go to Christian (Lutheran) church and read the bible, however. We celebrated all the fun, candy-laden holidays either way.<br /><br />However, I still ended up going to various churches with my friends' families. I've been to Christian, Catholic, Mormon.. I was involved in youth groups as an adolescent and early teen. After a certain age and into my 20s I rejected it as a crutch that I didn't need.<br /><br />In my mid to late 20s I was in a very emotionally-low point in my life and had some very real spiritual/religious dreams (not drug induced). It spurred a curiosity in me to 'seek'. <br /><br />My husband I began dating around the same time and he was in a similar place. We began church hopping and landed at Saddleback. (We'll be going to the huge Easter at Angel Stadium this Sunday - but no sticker on my car). :) It took me a while to like it there and the people annoyed me (still do sometimes), but we've stuck with it. <br /><br />We talk to our daughters about G-d and spiritual matters, pray with them every night, read about it, go to church on Sundays, and 4 yo goes to Christian preschool, and might go to Kindergarten there as well. I hope it gives them an emotional depth and foundation I wish I had had as a child. <br /><br />Eventually they will make their own decisions and may choose to stray from it. I hope not though. I'm not going to force something on them, but teach them about G-d's love as much as I can. I also try to learn about and understand other perspectives and religions and share that as well. <br /><br />I definitely despise hatred, fear, violence, murder, rape and propaganda from some organized religions or non-religious groups. I enjoy new-age philosophy too.<br /> <br />I don't have all the answers, and of course I have my doubts sometimes, but I choose to follow a more spiritual path for my life and share it with my girls, because I know what the alternative feels like.<br /><br />Thanks for posting such a compelling article and allowing me to share my thoughts (even if somewhat opposing.) Happy Spring! :)Ellehttp://seemomwork.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-67233682277224492832010-04-01T11:24:20.666-07:002010-04-01T11:24:20.666-07:00I really like that you didn't dismiss the idea...I really like that you didn't dismiss the idea of G-d for your kids and especially the part where you said that you didn't want to color their perception of Him with your own thoughts. I don't have kids yet, but I'm excited to see the confusing steps of that journey. I have a lot of faith in YHWH but I don't want my kids to believe simply because I do (and I don't believe simply because I know other people who do). <br /><br />Regarding your frustration over the suffering of people in the world; The one thing that I still wrestle with is this question: We have the capacity to end many forms of suffering ourselves, so why should we rely on G-d to fix all our problems, especially when we blame suffering on him instead of offering it to him?<br /><br />Good luck on your journey through life! If you're ever interested in a dialogue about any of this, I'm always up for a good chat :)ianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09717283743755039944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-37306460413480330932010-04-01T11:08:16.669-07:002010-04-01T11:08:16.669-07:00One day in the car on the way to soccer, my son Ad...One day in the car on the way to soccer, my son Adam and his friend are having a conversation that somehow turned to G-d. In short, it was stated that no one created G-d, he is just there. Adam replies "No, the titans created G-d!". He had just finished that Lightning Thief book. I realized than that was the closest my son has come to learning anything remotely related to G-d or religion. I'm not sure what to tell him although I did make sure he realized that the Titans and Greek Gods are mythology. :)<br /><br /> Both my husband and I have a real hard time with organized religion. Not only do I not know what I really believe but growing up in as a non-Mormon in Utah has really jaded my views on religion, tolerance and acceptance. I don't agree with the idea of telling a child what to believe from day one. Feels too much like "brainwashing". When we moved here I was so excited...California...liberals like me. Little did I realize that Orange County is as conservative as Utah. I have found that people are more accepting of different views here. For that I am very grateful. Still not sure what to tell my kids...Mya S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-65191862016814165792010-04-01T10:18:39.018-07:002010-04-01T10:18:39.018-07:00I don't have any advice re: god, faith, and re...I don't have any advice re: god, faith, and religion as they pertain to holidays or just daily life, but if the kid is feeling left out because of missing out on the Easter fun, you might do what some athiest/agnostic friends of ours do and celebration the arrival of springtime. Heck, all the non-religious Easter symbols are terribly pagan anyway, so you'd be all set!Mama Up!https://www.blogger.com/profile/16062563084376679862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-16283831809247274652010-04-01T10:15:41.044-07:002010-04-01T10:15:41.044-07:00Part of me wants to wait, really digest your thoug...Part of me wants to wait, really digest your thoughts, and then comment with much more reflection behind my comments.<br /><br />And then I know that'll happen at Never O'Clock. Or at least I won't remember to come back & comment if I do that.<br /><br />So here's my quick take: I think if you do a secular Xmas, you can do a secular Easter. What does the Easter Bunny have to do with Jesus Christ?? A celebration of birth, rebirth, renewal - the pagan rituals of celebrating the return of the sun were in place waaaaaay before the Xians figured out making our religious holiday part of all that. (Hmm, same as Xmas. Whole 'nother post, huh?)<br /><br />Also, I think as parents we don't have to be afraid to say to our kids "you known, sweetie, *I don't know - NOBODY does*" I think we need to do enough self-examination that we have an answer prepared to our best ability about what WE believe, but I don't think that we need to present our own tentative explorations & beliefs as the absolute truth. <br /><br />We shouldn't hesitate to give them some direction, though, even if we're wrong, because we are their filter/paradigm for ALL the world, not just faith. Its not like you hesitate to teach your child about science, just because you don't fully understand it, right??kirstenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17833274360880170296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-86189738809001053552010-04-01T08:35:41.598-07:002010-04-01T08:35:41.598-07:00Kate - Thank you!! I am looking forward to checkin...Kate - Thank you!! I am looking forward to checking out your links. I really thought I was the only one struggling with this. Seems like so many people are so sure - in some ways I envy them!<br /><br />Leslie - I'm also starting to do the "some people believe" thing, but I think ultimately kids want to know what MOMMY believes and that's where I struggle, you know?<br /><br />Kelli - When you figure it out, let me know. We are definitely in this together!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-6858867438529922752010-04-01T07:50:03.271-07:002010-04-01T07:50:03.271-07:00Cheryl, this blog could have come straight from my...Cheryl, this blog could have come straight from my own heart, aside from a few details. I am struggling with this right now and am not sure what the right answer is. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone...Kelli/Plangirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-33507683947610859692010-04-01T07:47:29.975-07:002010-04-01T07:47:29.975-07:00Love this post! My religious background is comple...Love this post! My religious background is completely confused and so I've just had to come up with my own variation of what works for us. It's very controversial b/c I live in the Bible Belt so I just basically keep my mouth shut for the most part. Out of convenience my kids have gone to preschools that are church-based, but that's prety much where the religious education ends. I find myself answering most questions with "well some people believe this" and "other people believe that" and then if prodded further I tell what I believe (which is that there's some kind of higher power which gives & takes life from the human body - that's my version of G-d). And I strongly believe that morals are taught by parents/teachers and NOT churches. It's a tough subject & you've covered it wonderfully.Simply Lovely Giftshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12352960824957576821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-5349251670785633522010-04-01T07:27:24.535-07:002010-04-01T07:27:24.535-07:00And don't feel alone. I know it's hard whe...And don't feel alone. I know it's hard when it seems like EVERYONE else is religious but a lot of people struggle with how to fit it into their kids' lives.<br /><br />Here's my post on being an atheist:<br />http://theyaresocutewhentheyaresleeping.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-kids-are-going-to-hell.html<br /><br />And my SIL's on not being a Christian in the bible belt:<br />http://www.kellyology.net/2010/01/4-more-shopping-days-religion.htmlKate, aka Guavalicioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03262691817279213060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-17800856250964442212010-04-01T07:22:20.347-07:002010-04-01T07:22:20.347-07:00Such a great post. I struggle a lot with how to de...Such a great post. I struggle a lot with how to define and expose my kids to religion. As an atheist I have a hard time telling my kids to believe in something I don't but, as you wrote, I think religion is an important part of a child's upbringing. I definitely feel my life was enhanced by growing up Catholic. But how do I help them find their own way to peace with religion when I don't particpate in it (nor does my husband). <br /><br />And though we do celebrate Christmas we hold the line at Easter. If we're not with family it's just another day.Kate, aka Guavalicioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03262691817279213060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-46397692370921650322010-03-31T22:25:57.451-07:002010-03-31T22:25:57.451-07:00Aimee - Thank you so much for your thoughtful word...Aimee - Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. I was nervous to post this, as you can imagine. Your comments helped feel not so alone in all this.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30938531.post-39295175148323820482010-03-31T21:39:20.130-07:002010-03-31T21:39:20.130-07:00This is such a great post and I love it for a vari...This is such a great post and I love it for a variety of reasons, namely because I relate so well to it. My husband and I are also Jewish and we live in OC, so I know exactly what you mean. Our son is only 2, so we haven't discussed anything about G-d and Christian holidays with him yet, but we're anticipating those conversations at some point in the next few years. What might make it more challenging is that half of my family is Catholic/Christian and we are always invited to holiday celebrations. <br /><br />I also love your explanation of G-d and how it's up to parents/mentors to model and teach moral behavior and particular values. I could not agree more. And I also agree that it can be some of the most conflicting and challenging aspects of parenthood. <br /><br />I'm a fan of your blog. I'll be adding you to my Blog Roll!<br /><br />-AimeeAimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Bloghttp://www.aintyomamasblog.comnoreply@blogger.com